Sheepish Day Dream

岁月

2011-10-19T09:27:00.000+08:00

这两天由于喉咙不舒服，开始时根本发不了声。看了医生，给了我两天病假，并叮咛我两天少说话。其实要怎么说呢，连声音都没有。要买吃地都很困难。
我到我家附近的巴刹，吃了早餐，就回家赶工。也不算是病假，有好多东西需要在这两天赶出来。
当我回家的途中，我看到了一位老人，独自一人在组屋楼下，开着古老的小型收音机，低着头坐在石椅上。好孤独，好憔悴。我心突然一阵难过起来。中午时，我又去吃午餐，他还在组屋落下，另一个座椅旁，同样的姿势，听着收音机播放出的音乐。
我住在一个比较旧的组屋区，有蛮多年长的人。有些时常会聚集在一起，有几个让我印象非常深刻。一位老太太时常一人推着一辆车，载满了很多旧皮箱，旧东西，到处寻找旧东西。碰到时，她也会跟你打招呼。
有好几回，我在想，他们所拥有的岁月也不多了，真希望他们也已聆听到耶稣为他们所做的一切。不知道他们了解这生命的意义吗。也许他们也发现生命的短暂，即使他们活到120岁，生命也还是如此短暂的。
时间不断的前进，我们只是暂时居住此地。知道生命的意义，才是首要的。
耶稣，他们认识你了吗？我不知道如何帮助他们，但你必有办法接近他们，传达给他们你的爱。谢谢！

Changes

2011-07-30T10:32:00.000+08:00

So many changes happened the last year, and I am still in the flow of the change. I have moved office to Mount Sophia and back again to main office. In the last year, I have been involving in crazy huge master plan competition, as big as 3 new towns but in China, to seeing a small fun project finally completed. Have done many design feasibilities, and learnt many building types, in crazy timeline. Finally now I am back to reality, realizing that I still like to do local projects, so long as it is fun, it doesn't matter the size. It is almost like a tour of discovering and learning, been through frustrating moment of trying to finish thing as fast as possible and happy moments of seeing the end product.

To add to the complication, my family is also moving to the west from the north, to be closer to my sister and my nieces. The whole process was really a journey of perhaps, to should be, to need, from full of hope, to hopelessness and almost giving up and finally casting my cares to Jesus, and finally finding the place. So will be moving in end October finally, after almost 8 long months.

Ministry change and living routine disrupted due to the move, so what's next? I am not sure, everyday is a step of faith. And it is exciting. Changes are not scary, when Jesus is in charge. Totally by His grace and Hia grace alone. No worry, my Shepherd is in charge. :D

A trip to southern China

2011-03-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

It was an 8-day trip to southern China, my friend and I travelled from Xiamen, to Fuzhou, to Guangzhou, to Xiamen and Zhangzhou, before heading home to Singapore. It was a pretty tiring trip for me, with all the travel, and my body was not able to adjust to the food. For a few days towards the end of the trip, my body was not able to eat much, except some drinks and fruit, with a little rice. Yet, it is still a fulfilling trip.

First day upon arrival, we went to Gulangyu, walk around and visited the pedestrian street in Xiamen. Early next morning we headed for the rail to go to Fuzhou to meet up some friends and visited the mountain, a beautiful place, on a valley between mountains. We stayed here for 2-3 days, understanding the place. Perhaps here was the place where I started being not used to the food.

After that we headed to Guangzhou to attend Zaha Hadid's talk at the Guangzhou Opera House. It is true that I heard of the bad workmanship of this building, still, it stands as a beautiful piece of architecture, perhaps one of the best in terms of interior for a theatre design, the sensual fluid form, which is a challenge to be built for such an immense space. The design is unique, one that is non typical of a theatre, one becomes enchanted in such a space.

After 2 days here in Guangzhou, where I lost appetite for food, and was pretty exhausted by then, we made our way back to Xiamen, to stay at my friend's relative's place at Zhangzhou, where We visited the tulou and Taxia village. It is a beautiful sight, a place that even make architects ponder at the wisdom of construction technology of so many centuries ago, and so beautiful are these tulous, they are really worth the "motion sickness" up the mountains. But I guess once in a lifetime is enough, unless the Lord has something for me to do there. Almost every photo taken is postcard ready. And also thank to the hospitality of the relatives.

Definitely I need some good rest. A bit exhausted from the trip. But thanks be to my dearest Lord Jesus who has already gone before me, and prepared for me, I totally need Him for seeing me through. I enjoyed the trip despite of a tired body.

A Month Later

2010-10-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

I am back to work for a month or so after the break due to chicken pox. How this month flies. It was a really busy month, almost working late into the night every day. Finally it is over, and I am flying to Beijing tomorrow for a presentation. This time round the project was truly not my forte and I am glad it is over finally. Thank God again, for seeing me through this project, indeed His grace is sufficient for me. Hopefully I will gain some good rest this week in the foreign land. My Shepherd Jesus shall go with me.

During the 2-week break, I drew a new series of comic, in Chinese, hopefully I find a good online website to publish soon too.... any good recommnendation?... cheers and shalom.

A Fine Break

2010-09-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

Again it's been several months... I used to write and draw so often...

I had a 2-week long MC (medical leave) 2 weeks ago... do not worry, it was just chicken pox, and therefore I was home bound. However, it was a rather pleasant break, as I could not leave my house, and therefore I got to find things to keep myself occupied at home.

It was a good time, I picked up my drawings again, painted a few small paintings, drew a little, read a little, conceptualised a comic, etc etc... I have a habit of buying books, basically 3 types of books, Christian books, children & adult picture books and architecture books. Just for that period of rest, I finished all my picture books, and I was so inspired by them, I started painting again, and drawing comics.

Despite the discomfort, it was really a precious time of being at home with my mom as well, rethinking certain issues in life.

Certainly Daddy God has caused everything to turn out for good....

Been a long time

2010-08-29T13:44:00.001+08:00

It's been so long, months perhaps. I wonder if any of my friends still read this blog. I am finally a converter to IPhone, after 2 years of resisting, as I still could not find a free option to E-sword, but I finally succumbed to it recently, realizing the ease of one accessing the Internet, on the go.

I am trying this blog now with one, something quite unthinkable 5 years ago when I first started writing here, yes, it's been 5 years.

I stumbled on this iBook while having fun "Les Meserables". I only read a small fraction of it, but it is so good! What a book! Hopefully I have the patience to finish it, but I think I would.

Just dropping by, and if any friends of mine dropped by too, I am really well and blessed, enjoying the Lord. Shalom to all!

In Shanghai, at the Expo 2010

2010-05-28T12:44:00.068+08:00

I was away in Shanghai for a work trip. Was really glad and grateful to my boss as I was given this opportunity to visit the Shanghai Expo, except that this trip seemed so long. I often travelled a lot alone overseas, but this one felt exceptionally long... How strange that I longed to return much earlier, though there are much to be seen at the Expo. Perhaps I missed my family, church, friends, and my projects, one of which is towards the end of it... This is a trip that I learnt to let go and trust God for my project. For indeed, there is really nothing I can do so far away, placing it in the hand of God is the only thing and best thing I can and should do.

On 19 May 2010, at about 9pm, I visited Waterhouse Shanghai, I have a great time there. Seeing a conservation cum retrofitting work done in China, the design is very cool. The justaposition of new and old in the space. The reminiscent of old walls with new works. The use of mirror with timber for the window at the courtyard. The food. I pray that by the grace of God I can do works of such sort, and that the design inspired will be better than that, grace grace.

I visited the Shanghai Expo for the first time on 20 May 2010, Thursday, in the evening, with a colleague who has kindly brought me there to visit.

Canada Pavilion, I like the façade treatment, the use of facets of timber planks in triangular panels. However this design is very similar to a few other pavilions except for the use of materials. I particularly like the multi-media on the box like structures, the effect and its liveliness. There is also a very cute animation which is tied to the cycling machine. The animation is done in the former fashion of old cartoon rather than the 3D animation that is now so popular everywhere. We ended the pavilion entering into a short film, the sound and impact is very impactful here.

Chile Pavilion, I particularly like the smell of wood, it could be pine, as I entered the pavilion. Wood is used in very amazing ways here. There is a suspended wooden sphere that as you go, you enter in it and come out, descending down., into a huge gather space, with bar and wine. I like the charm of the transition of spaces. I visited this pavilion again with my colleagues in the day time. The effect of light streaming in is even better. Should not miss this if you like architecture.

Mexico Pavilion, It is one of the strangest pavilions if you can say that. The pavilion is sunken, and yet you surely will not miss it, due to the use of bright cheery colourful kite like forms above the pavilion. It is done almost like a landscape installation art. Much as it caught my eye, I didn’t really have much of a great remembrance of the works inside, it has a sense of an art museum, and that’s it, but still, one should still visit the outside at least. I went there again with my colleagues, to the landscape space, indeed during the daytime, due to the shade the kites provided, it is a very successful public space, where people sit and linger around to rest.

Norway Pavilion, I like this pavilion, as it exudes a very cheerful, cool and playful atmosphere, though I saw it at night. The internal is filled with little human figures and I later found out that none of them are repeated. The artist created them, almost each figurine has his or her own story to tell. I like it very much. And it was created in a forest effect, with leaf like form stuck onto the floor. Cool! Should not miss cos you will be charmed by the little figures.

I visited again the Expo on Sunday, 23 May 2010. We were there at about 8am, hoping perhaps we can get the pass to China Pavilion, but we were not that hopeful, as we understood from searching google, that people queued as early as 6-7am to get the pass. Moreover, we visited on a Sunday. Indeed it was super crowded, and the queuing time was really long. Thank God we have the wisdom of God, we rush straight in upon entering at about 910am when the gates open, to see the UK pavilion.

UK pavilion, this being the one pavilion that we particularly wanted to see, was the first we visited. When we reached, there was already quite a queue. Hairy looking thing, and it looks the same from almost every angle. It is the Seed Cathedral. I like it. I love the inside as well, the symbolism, the message behind is very strong and yet simple, no fanfare but plan simple message done in the most impressible way. With variety of seeds embedded inside the acrylic like tubes, and light from outside illuminating the seeds. The walk in into the pod and out of it was quite fun too, with installations and green planting. The fun part is on the undulating landform outside, where one can laze around to view the Seed. Unfortunately, we do not have the luxury of time to do so… as we need to rush off to see more. (This is where I lost my cool, and shouted at a group of Chinese tourists who overtook our queue by climbing in front. The police was not present yet, otherwise I would have informed the police. This is barbaric behavior from the locals, they still have a long way to go.)

Luxembourg Pavilion, this pavilion has hardly any queue, but on the first night when I set foot on expo, when I saw this pavilion from afar, I already determined to see it in my next trip. Indeed, it was good. The treatment of spaces, the landscape was quite nicely put together. Not too long a queue, and good architectural and landscape space.

The Netherlands Pavilion, this was quite a letdown. We were expecting to see some cool architecture… but this pavilion seems very popular with a children.

France Pavilion, this looks so much like Prada in Tokyo from outside when I caught sight of it on my first night here, I though Prada sponsored it. (In actual fact, LV was the one who sponsored it, I suppose, for there are some pieces by LV inside.) Basically it is quite a good piece of architecture, touching on the 5 senses. The coolest part is they successfully evoke the sense of smell. Very humane, though the queue was long, the queue is constantly moving, and it is a very sensitive pavilion, bringing the people up via escalator straight to the top, and allowing them to descend slowly down by ramp, a very sensitive touch to architecture and human comfort. The air well was also really cool, with vertical plantings on the courtyard, almost like the old French garden on a vertical plane. I like it, shouldn’t miss this.

Spain Pavilion, we all agreed that among all the pavilions we have visited, the most impactful one would be this. I love the treatment of the façade, the placement of the rattan like nets, though it seems random, but when one stand from afar, there is a rhythm to the placement, with graduation of colours. Very sensitive. The drama is upon entering into the dark tunnel, with multi-media effects all around you, culminating with a lady who dance, and end off with the media, it was impactful. (Though I am not sure if they have passed the handicapped and fire escape issues). Upon exiting from the tunnel, one is “shocked” by a gigantic baby, done so real, eyelids are joined, hands and feet with clear skin lines. Quite scary at first sight. As to why? I didn’t read further, perhaps to tie back to the Expo theme on life…. Should visit this... a pavilion that can only be experienced and not captured by still pictures, video will be better, but I do not know how to upload my video files...

Denmark Pavilion, this is a fun pavilion, one can cycle up the ramp, the journey up was fun, there is an undulating bench, that almost looks like a roller coaster track. I like it very much. The focus is on the mermaid. The structure itself is amazing, a cantilievered ramp of about 5m twirling upwards, and as one reaches the top, one has quite a spectacular view of its surrounding. Good place to take photos of the other pavilions in the vicinity. The concept is that Denmark is a city that is planned for pedestrians and bicycle. Should visit.

Finland Pavilion, looks quite futuristic from outside. Simple decent pavilion. One enters into a circular airwell, when you are prompted to look upwards, and then you enter into a ramp. Visit if you have time.

Australia Pavilion, I felt this pavilion is overrated, as we queued so long. One ends with a short film, which I didn’t really enjoy. Façade wise, it is quite nice, except for the disturbing tubes/tunnels that puncture.

Israel Pavilion, we visited this as we are Christians. Not too bad, simple, they showcased more on their technology and contribution to science. Guess if you are Christians, you will visit this.

Korea Pavilion, this was a long wait. By the time we came to this Asia side of the Expo, it was already evening. So we didn’t manage to take a photo of the façade in the day. But the night façade is really charming, I love this pavilion. The wait is extremely long, and after we left the pavilion, we knew why. Although the queuing part was long, you can enjoy some free dances and video showing the concept of the pavilion, and short food commercial by Rain. There is a 20min short film, which is very heartwarming, it almost touched us to tears (this is what the South Koreans can do very well, Korean drama), worth watching, and that explains the long wait. They are smart, they capitalized on what they are good at. (This was where my colleague lost his patience and shouted at a Chinese who tried to overtake the queue, bravo, well done, my colleague, he deserved to be scolded! Everyone queued so long!) It is a great pavilion if you are a Korean drama fan.

Vietnam Pavilion, we are exhausted and we went into this one, seeing that there is no queue. And indeed, simple design but I like it except for the temple setting… the way the bamboo is used here is really well done, how in the world can one create a palace effect with bamboo? See it for yourself. Quite worthwhile if you have energy left.

Italian Pavilion, we went back again the next day, and queued about an hour to enter this. One of the pavilions that we wanted to see very much but too tired to queue yesterday. Indeed it is very good, if you like fine arts, design, fashion, furniture, wine, pasta, etc. the spaces are simple, almost like a museum setting, but I love it, simple, well organized, and the use of daylight was great. Showing forth good taste. Do take a look at the staff, all in Prada outfit, surely sponsored by Prada. Should visit.

Ireland Pavilion, I wanted to visit this when I saw it on the first night, as the design is very simple and pleasant. Inside, it is average, but not exceptional fantastic, can visit if you have time and there is no queue. The night view of the pavilion is better.

Belgium Pavilion, I read all the hooha about this, that there are diamonds, and chocolate given out free, so I was hoping maybe I could get a Godiva chocolate for free. It is average. Visit if you have time to spare only.

Hungary Pavilion, on our way to the American zone, we passed by this, small but quite interesting design. It will only take you 5mins to queue and see the inside, no harm. It is formed by tubes of water and square vertical poles inside and outside. Some of the poles move, and at the end of the poles are light. Can visit. This concept can be used for interior design in future… Good concept but not executed well enough.

Germany Pavilion, I went back again to visit this, thinking that if people are willing to queue for more than 3 hours for this pavilion, it must be fantastic. I queued for about 1-2h, it is quite a good pavilion, but it may not be worth that kind of wait. I enjoyed the walk through the “grassland”. However, to most who visited, I believed the most impressible one is the energy ball programme which is about 20mins. To move through the pavilion will take one approximately 45mins, that explains the long wait. An above average pavilion, but personally I felt it is not worth the queuing time.

Poland Pavilion, as I went with the main aim of seeing the Germany Pavilion, I left the pavilion feeling a little cheated, as I thought it should be better. Therefore to make my night ticket worthwhile, I visited Poland Pavilion which is of a little queue, in fact it only took me about 5mins to queue. But I was truly impressed. I love the cut out effect, the casting of the shadows, the lights behind the cut out, a bit like paper craft, a very romantic and cheery space. Good and worthwhile, small simple pavilion, done with great skill. Worth visiting, as the queue is also short. The music goes well with the lighting effects and architecture.

New Zealand Pavilion, I was trying to rush over to at least see the Singapore Pavilion, being a Singaporean, but as I reached at 1005pm, I was denied entry. I ended up visiting New Zealand Pavilion, which was open till 1030. It is a decent pavilion that uses outdoor space, a bit similar to Mexico Pavilion, but more towards nature. It was a pity that I visited late at night, therefore I could not really appreciate the landscape. I will rate it moderate. I still prefer Mexico Pavilion in terms of outdoor space.

The above is a quick summary of most of the pavilions that I visited. If time will permit, I would have also visited UAE and Japan Pavilions, but both are of extremely long queuing time. And I would love to visit the China Pavilion, but there seems no way to get the ticket except if I go and queue at 6-7am. However, all these I managed to catch glimpses of them but without going in.

China Pavilion

Singapore Pavilion (Music Box)

Japan Pavilion

UAE Pavilion (by Foster)

Portugal Pavilion (cord finish for facade)

Russia Pavilion

Serbia Pavilion

Switzerland Pavilion

Latvia Pavilion

Taiwan Pavilion

Sweden Pavilion

I may have visited only 10% of the whole Expo. Overall, it was indeed an eye opener. I have been pondering on the theme “Better City, Better Life”, but how many of the pavilions actually addressed this at the end of the day. I felt many are just merely showing what they have, but they seem to deviate from the theme. Selah. Therefore among those few that held close to the concept, I like UK, simple and true, no fanfare, down to earth. Much as I enjoyed Spain, France, Italy etc, I would vote UK as the one closest to my heart. As for architectural award, I vote Chile and France, I like Chile for the intimate space and the fragrance of wood, and France for bringing in the garden in a different way, for creating 3 totally different ambiences, on the outside skin, in the green courtyard and inside the tube/ramp. In terms of impact, I enjoyed Spain and Canada greatly, Norway and Poland come close in terms of creating a happy mood upon entering. As for the arts, I loved Italy and France. Hope you too have a great time at the Expo.

Back Home

2010-03-24T22:53:00.001+08:00

We are finally back home. Indeed, we went through a sandstorm in Taiwan, though it was not that bad, except that we did not get to see a blue sky, or clear view at 101. The only setback is the flight back on SQ. On my return trip, I was planning to finish watching a movie filmed in Canada that I could not finish on my flight to Taiwan. The unfortunate part was that the multimedia set was spoilt, even though the air steward had tried to reset twice. Why? Not just my set was spoilt, but my mom's and sister's sets were spoilt.... Guess I might not have a chance to complete that movie.... Could not Singapore Airline did a thorough check before the flight and move us to a new row? By the time we were told that there was no other way except to split us up was almost 2 hours later... Sigh... We paid for SQ, but we did not receive the kind of entertainment quality we should have on a SQ....

Thank God I have my netbook and camera with me, so the above photo was one of the things I tried to do to keep myself occupied.... maybe SQ should compensate me with a free trip... dream on.... keep on dreaming...

4th & 5th Day

2010-03-22T23:44:00.002+08:00

4th Day
We have finally come to the end of our holiday in Taiwan. On the 4th day, we visited SYS memorial hall, and 101, followed by Wufenpu wholesale market and Raohe Night Market. It was quite unfortunate, for the weather was very foggy, and we didn’t get much of a view at 101. However, we did buy lots of things at Wufenpu, one of my favourite shopping spots.

5th Day
On the 5th day, we were so free, we bought our pork floss in the morning, visited a few places, such as Yongkang street, Zhongxiao Fuxing etc. A few of us went back to Wufenpu, and we visited Shilin together again. Since it was our last night in Taipei, we listened to the advice of several taxi drivers, we visited the night market near Longshan Temple. But much to our disappointment, there really was nothing much to that place.

We have visited most of the places we wanted to visit in Taipei… hope everyone had a good time, I did. Praise the Lord! We are flying home tomorrow.

3rd Day In Taiwan

2010-03-21T09:27:00.001+08:00

We booked a car with driver, Mr Zhang, for another day on the 3rd day. He fetch us from the airport to hotel on the 1st day, brought us around to Yehliu and Shihlin on the 2nd day, and brought us around to buy the local products, such as Fenglisu, Laopobing, Taiyangbing, etc on the 3rd Day. We went to CKS Memorial, visited Martyr's Shrine, Dihua Street, Danshui old street and Keelung food street as well. We ended the 3rd day shopping at the underground shopping mall at Taipei Main Station. That was our itinerary in short.

The good problem is that as we booked a car for 2 days, we visited all the places I planned to bring my family over 3 days within 2 days, leaving us with one day free, not sure where to go on the last day.... Daddy God will lead us....

Have not reported on our hotel room, not too bad... we are staying at Royal Castle, not fantastic, but good for the location and very near Ximending, we have a family suite. It is fun staying together, except for the bathroom, we have to take turns... but staying in the same suite is fun and rowdy...

ok, time to go and visit 101 today. 再見！

In Taiwan, In The Beginning

2010-03-20T07:41:00.001+08:00

1st Day
We are finally here in Taipei, and we have started one of our favourite activities on the first day, shopping.... pretty tiring.... Staying near Ximending is a plus point, as the ladies can go shopping there while a few of us can just go back earlier to hotel to rest.

2nd Day
It is a busy day. We visited Yehliu yesterday, a beautiful natural site at the coast, with interesting landform due to erosion. We then proceeded to Jiufen old street and Jinguashi. This is my 3rd visit to Jiufen, a place I like very much due to its culture and architecture, but strange, my family did not seem very fancinated by the place. At Jinguashi, we did not attempt visiting the gold mine.... too lazy to climb.

We dropped by the Gold waterfall, it was beautiful, and we headed to Yangmingshan late in the evening to see the flower festival. And our last stop was at Shilin Night Market. A very packed day. I was not feeling very well, likely due to lack of proper sleep the night before. A good sleep will do me good, by the healing power of God, and indeed it is so.

cheers... Today we are embarking on the 3rd Day, a day of shopping for local products....

Shalom to my family back in Singapore, we will enjoy ourselves... Jesus loves you!

Finally A Family Holiday

2010-03-18T08:55:00.000+08:00

I remembered several months back at our family gathering for Christmas, I briefly mentioned I wish this year we would be able to go for a holiday together as a family. This is quite a task as my family is huge, close to 20 persons, therefore we could have filled up a coach if we go as a family not to mention the cost... Yet I was not imagining something of that magnitude, though it will be great, but one that comprises of several of the family members.

And before Iong, this is coming to pass. We are going to Taiwan Today, a family of 5, my mum, my brother and sis-in-law, and my sister. This is really exciting! We are visiting the country where my mom was born....

May we have a great trip together, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, that My Daddy God is ever with us, and He is always with us, enjoying the trip with us and blessing us! Jesus our Shepherd shall lead us!

Hopefully some updates from Taiwan soon....

Shalom to my family here in Singapore!

Build Things of Eternal Values

2010-02-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Been asked to ponder on this, am I building things of eternal values? In fact, hasn’t this been a question that is constantly on my heart since I can last remember? Yet as life moves into a routine, this is slowly forgotten, or rather, push to a later date, thinking I still have time.

I was asked 2 months back on my future plans in the company. In fact, it came as almost a shock to me.

Today I was asked how long have I been registered as an architect? When I realized the number of years, I was again quite shocked, rather than surprised, how time flies, it really seems like only yesterday when I passed my exam…

So what have I been building for the last few years? Building my career? I was doing that few years ago, and it was a long tedious, unfulfilling journey. Since, I have ceased on climbing the ladder 3 years ago… I realized I am not good at taking stress.

Indeed, suddenly I realized, I don’t seem to have a target in life, according to the world’s system. I just want to enjoy my daily life, live one day at a time, finishing my daily task on time and well, doing beautiful, good design, for the betterment of mankind when I am given opportunities. And also able to share the Lord’s love with others, whom God may bring along my path. I thought and still think this alone should be enough, in fact, any firm should be glad to have staffs like this. I would be very happy, if my employees think as such. Selah.

As I was looking through my family photos taken during Christmas last year, while uploading photos online a while ago, I realized, who said I am not building things of eternal values. I have a huge wonderful family, everyone beloved of the Lord, my dream once upon a time, to see my family coming to know Jesus, can be said to be fully realized now. Who said this is not of eternal value? I would not dare to take credit for this, but I am grateful to the Lord that I played a part in this. If the bigger the family is an honour from the Lord, then my honour from Him must be great.

Building things of lasting values, people, it is about people. It is about the people whom Jesus loves. My dream? To see all my dear friends, my old classmates, my colleagues, clients, consultants, partners in every area, etc, come to know Jesus and receive Him into their lives. This is my dream. I am not really a terribly good example of my beloved Lord, I know how imperfect I am in the flesh, but I still hope I can be used to point them to Him. Selah.

My dream. A life worth living for Him.

He Will Carry You

2010-01-08T22:30:00.002+08:00

Just the last Sunday, I heard the song “He will carry you”. And this tune stays in my heart, and I have decided in my heart to share this song with some folks tomorrow. As I was pondering on this song, my mind flew back to many years ago (not too many…), when I was in Secondary school. Then, I did not really know Jesus, though now I know I was very much on His heart then even as of now. A dear friend of mine wrote in my autography, the entire story of “Footprints in the sand”. Ever since then this story has occupied a place in my heart, and even at this moment, when I think about this story, it still warms my heart, knowing that my Saviour is ever with me, carrying me through every challenge that comes.

It was about a man who had a dream, of him walking with the Lord. And before him flashed scenes of his life, and they were always represented by 2 sets of footprints. However, he noticed that during his lowest and saddest times, there was only 1 set of footprints. And he was very upset and questioned the Lord, why when he needed Him most, there was only 1 set of footprints. The Lord said to him, during those times, it was Him who was carrying him through and there is therefore only 1 set of footprints.

Remembering the story of Jacob, like what Pastor was sharing, many a times while we are going through difficulties and challenges, especially when people around us seem more blessed and some are not even in covenant with our beloved God, we have a cry in our heart, why are all things coming against me? Why am I not receiving the blessings? Forgetting that Jesus never leaves us nor forsake us. Yet we are not aware that God has already gone ahead of us to prepare the way for us. Even when the storm seems huge, ever ready to capsize the boat we are in, and Jesus seems asleep, not doing anything, the fact that He is in our boat, how can my boat ever go under, so long as He is in it? We can rest assured in His promise towards us, He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Therefore let us all, having already arrive in this new year, keeping our eyes steadfast on Jesus, knowing that He is always with us, He never leaves us nor forsake us, ever present to help us, our joy and peace are wrapped up in Him and Him alone. With Him, all things are more than sufficient.

JESUS

2009-12-13T23:39:00.002+08:00

It has been a really long time to finally decide to just pick up my mini laptop and write. I just want to write on the Person who loves me most, always, relentlessly, fully, totally, never giving up on me. Sometimes events of life bog us down. Sometimes, the necessity of living, the many issues arising out of daily living cause me to lose sight. But Jesus is always here with me.

I am not troubled by anything now, if I sounded so above. I just learnt ever since coming to know Jesus many years ago, what a long and tedious journey I have walked. Yes, indeed, I studied and read a lot, yet now what really thrills me is, simply the Person Jesus, not about what to do and what not to do, not about what is the fruit of the Spirit or the gift or calling, not about how to reach the world for Him, not about how to be more successful by applying the word, though all these are good, but simply Jesus, only He can satisfy.

I am reading a book by Watchman Nee, “The Normal Christian Faith”, causing my eyes to see what I understood in my heart. I am quoting from his book. Hope you enjoy them. He wrote the following:

…You can see clearly that the whole issue is not about doctrine but about a person! Our basic concern is not doctrines. Rather, it is seeing who Jesus is! Once we have the Lord Jesus, we will have real satisfaction; we will be filled with the sense of having acquired everything…

…What Christ proclaimed persistently on the earth was not His doctrines but Himself. The focus is not the doctrines but on the person…

…It is not the practice of His teachings that makes a Christian. Rather, it is a relationship with Christ that qualifies us as one…

…This is the work of the Lord Jesus. His work is just to bring men to realize who He is. He never let go of the fact that He is the Son of God. This is the essence of our faith. It declares that Jesus is the Son of God…

…Christianity does not emphasize doctrines. Rather, it emphasizes the person Christ. Even when some doctrines are mentioned, they are few in number, and when you go about expounding them, they always point back to a person…

The above are just some statements from the book that I underlined while reading. Why do we always love to complicate matters? Come back to the simplicity of thing, everything is about Jesus, because of Him, through Him and for Him only. Life is so simple, everything fades away, cos everything that matters is Jesus, and Jesus alone. When we keep our eyes on Him, everything becomes of no matter anymore. Life becomes simple and meaningful, life is worth the living, just for Him and Him alone. Shalom. May you find out how much He loves you, and enjoy a wonderful intimate relationship with Him always, from now to eternity.

People Who Move You On

2009-10-21T23:56:00.001+08:00

It is completely quite interesting to go for a 2-day architectural conference and realized that 2 of the speakers taught me before. I was drawn by the title of the seminar “Architecture for Humanity” and not so concerned about who the speakers are, when I wanted to attend.

It reminds me of God’s goodness to me many years ago when I was in school, that’s what prompted me to write this now. Suddenly memories of the past streamed right before my eyes.

I remembered I had a very difficult time studying in architecture in year 1, though I had a little fine art background. Therefore, most would think that to assimilate into architecture would be simple for me. But I really hated architecture after one year of school, especially doing design. For it seems that nothing I designed seem to please the tutor, and my subconscious aim then was trying to please my tutor. I had no idea what design is, what is a concept, worse of all, what architecture is for, I totally did not understand the fundamental basics of architecture.

While I was struggling through life during this period, I stumbled unto the narrative module, and the content was to produce a piece of architecture out of studying 2 artworks, one by Escher and another by Mondrian. That to me was the beginning of architectural enlightenment, I wanted to create a building that resembles Mondrian’s on plan, but carries the essence of Escher in space. It was the first time I saw something I had never seen before. Roof unfolded to become wall, and then to become the ground etc. This kind of concept was nothing special now, everyone does that, but about 15 years ago, this was totally quite unthinkable. Yet, despite of the fact that the idea was pretty unique, I failed to present it well to the examiners. Much to my surprise, my part-time tutor stood up for me then, and explained on my behalf. I was touched till this day. Thank God for that. I could not say I did well, but it was one of the better grades I had gotten so far for design.

Several years later, after I had escaped from my fear of design and returned to architecture to finish up my additional degree, I met another tutor that helped me. (I seemed to have a tendency to run off from problems….) it was the final year project. By then, I knew within my heart, that something seems to have dropped into my life, a small little seed of passion for architecture, a seed only possible to be planted there by God and not by myself. I got my first “A-“ in design. I remembered this tutor telling me, a good architect will also need to look into the details, something very simple but stayed with me till this day, and he was the first one who gave me an “A-“ and wrote sort of a commentary for my design.

The reason why I thought of these 2 incidents was, in life, there will be people that we will meet, some will affect us in a negative way while others, unknowingly will give us a push and move us to the next level. Perhaps they never knew what they did, but I was helped, and I thanked God for them. What a coincidence, both are speaking at the same time. Thank you Father God for You certainly can use people to help us through in lives. Thank God for reminding me again. I could never have understood and appreciate these incidents then, but now I do.

Encounter

2009-08-10T22:21:00.002+08:00

Wow, it is life back to normal supposedly, after I finished my 10-month full time study, with a personal study trip to China with my classmate and a personal rest trip to Tokyo. Life's so good in the Lord! There are so much to talk about for the past 1 year of my life, yet I shall not bore you all with the details unless anyone of you are really interested to hear my story. It was a wonderful journey, or rather, the beginning of a wonderful journey, which I am still in the process of walking. The last one year was to get me started on it.

I really thanked God for this period of time, a time almost totally spent with and in the Lord, enjoying Him, almost every single day, this is life, this is life indeed! There is no way to explain it, and one has to experience Him for oneself, indeed, taste and see that the Lord is good, and only Him can satisfy, nothing and no one else.

The last trip to Beijing was an eye-opener, the trip to Tokyo was a wonderful trip with the Lord, though I travelled with my good friends, I did have some personal moments, just the Lord and I, walking the streets together, enjoying the architecture, shopping in the supermarket, on the subway, etc. Strange as it is, I really enjoyed all the little moments of solitude. Though I still enjoy being with my friends, of course. Yet, only His presence satisfies truly. I realised and learnt that I don't have to do what is supposedly considered godly activity to enjoy His presence. I don't necessarily have to be reading and praying every moment to enjoy Him, though these are really really very very good activities. In the midst of our busy schedule, normal life, we can simply enter into His presence, by just knowing that He is ever with us, and engage Him in your activity and commune with Him. At that moment, you just simply know that He is there with you. What a wonderful truth we have.

Yes, indeed we don't go by our feeling, yet, somehow that feeling will just come when you realise that Jesus is always with you, and when you start conversing with Him. It is so wonderful, life in Christ! Engage Him in your life, you will love every moment of it! This is life indeed!

Rivers of Living Water

2009-07-26T07:34:00.003+08:00

While reading a book by Watchman Nee yesterday, a present from a friend, I came across a portion that the author said he knew of someone who when one came into her presence, one is changed. The bible says that out of the believer shall flow rivers of living water. Therefore it should be normal for one who comes into the presence of any Christian that one be transformed, as the living water should quench the thirst of anyone.

This reminded me of someone I met recently in China. I knew not her name till this day, though we stayed in the same house for 2 days. While I was in China, I stayed over at someone’s house, and this lady was always serving us, preparing meals, and also praying. We hardly held any conversation except that we exchanged a few smiles. On the day when we were leaving to go back Beijing, she sent us off at the airport, and gave each of us a huge long hug, while at the same time praying for each of us. I can never forget that moment of hug. I actually felt the tangible love of God flowing from this woman unto me, which I am unable to describe, but simply amazing and it went right into my heart. Later on, my friend told me that she felt the exact feeling too, that something so tangible went right into her when that lady hugged her and prayed for her, she sensed the love of God.

Today while reading the book, this incident was played again in my heart vividly and I was touched all over again. That woman knows the love of God. That woman is constantly in the presence of God. She has rivers of living water flowing right out of her that can impact the people around her.

We have rivers of living water inside us. We quench thirst by His living waters. My desire. Only God can. Shalom.

Stocktaking

2009-07-05T18:43:00.002+08:00

Back from China to Singapore 4 days already. it’s been busy at work, and also needed time to rest my body, I have yet settled down to take stock of what happened in the trip.

I learnt a valuable lesson over the 12 days in China. A question that floated into my heart, “How can a man has so little yet felt he has so much? And how can another man has so much yet felt he has very little?” I realized that it all matters in the heart, what one’s heart is filled with. When one’s heart is filled with love, it doesn’t matter what you have outside, you simply felt you have everything you will ever need in life. The love of God.

I saw lives that live passionately for One, their beloved Savour, Jesus. They give whatever they can afford and much more. They know with all their hearts that they are the beloved. They serve relentlessly, without holding back.

The hospitality of the people I met there was tremendous, way beyond what I could imagine. Their passion and zeal are contentious. In fact, I felt they have received more spiritually than I thought possible. Their trust and faith were strong. I am impacted. Their love and zeal are infectious.

I have learnt much, by the grace of God. Selah.

Thank you...Jesus

2009-05-22T23:01:00.005+08:00

Wow! I have almost forgotten that I have a blog! Good to record down some events of the last 2 months since I last wrote.

1 more week, and I would have finished school. Really enjoyed greatly the last one year, it's been a very wonderful journey. And to know that I have actually finished my course while working at the same time is a miracle, all praise to God! Got to know several good friends, though we worship in different churches, yet it is so so good to have friends who know they are the beloved of the Lord and have fun times fellowshipping, though I hardly have time to fellowship with them, as I had to rush straight off to work after school, but whatever little time we spent together, I cherished. Felt there is a special destiny for us to meet and be classmates.

But most of all , I have received, had my mindset changed, and something has happened to my heart which I am not sure how to describe, it is simply great! It was a time of great reflection into life... and a time of just pondering on the One who loves and knows me best, my Lord. Thank You, Daddy God for this opportunity, Thank You Jesus for the grace that has helped me through, in the midst of work, big family events, etc etc... truly it is His grace, I still find it amazing that the assignments can be completed on time, have time to do new projects at work etc, time seemed to have multiplied during the last year, each day has lengthened just for me... though at time lacking in sleep... Thank you Lord!

I thank God first of all, for my mum, ever so supportive of me going to school...
I thank my brother for always buying me breakfast... sending me to school for taking graduation photos...
I thank my friends for being my reference, and also attended my graduation... and my family members for attending! So touched!
Definitely I must thank my boss for giving me favour, allowing me to study in the morning and work half day...
I thank all my teachers for revealing Jesus more to me... ever so precious... so so good to just hear about this every day for a few hours... so so good... so soooooooooooo good! So privileged!
I thank God for all the above, and many things that He did for me of which I am not aware of... Thank you for this precious present and opportunity to study... with no worry about finances, etc etc...

I sure will miss school... I am not sure what's next, but I am really excited, cos I am in Christ, and He is my Shepherd, He leads me... So blessed am I!

I Miss You

2009-03-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

It was in 2007.

Have you ever had a continual sense of loss and discontentment despite all seems going well outside? You could still be going about your daily chores, reading the bible routinely, attending church, listening to sermons on a continual basis, reading Christian materials, doing what others felt a devoted Christian should be doing. Yet in the midst of it, that sense of loss and frustration increases daily, unknowingly.

It was in the year 2007. The industry was booming, everything around me was doing well, including career, family, and all. Yet there was an increasing, surging unrest within me, a point of tipping over, of going under, of breaking down. Perhaps it was the increased workload, or perhaps it was the promotion and seemingly added expectation from people, perhaps it was the unconscious self-imposed pressure of proving myself more. Perhaps…

The condition of my heart began to take on a change, and soon I was in a state of great confusion and frustration. My thought took on a toil on my physical body, and it started reacting to my thought life. I lost my peace. I was irritable and was horrible to be with. I felt working with myself unbearable.

I slowly lost sight of my Shepherd, the one who has equipped me all along. I fell out of grace, trusting in my own effort and achievement, into the world’s mode of thinking. I cannot see good even when good came.

Voicing my frustration, justifying my terrible behavior became a norm, trying to find comfort in friends. One thing I did learn was that, the more I talked about my problem, the bigger the problem seemed, somehow it magnified by my speaking about it. The more I expressed my anger towards someone, the anger seemed to increase. (I personally felt the idea of expressing one’s hurt and frustration vocally to friends does not work. I pray that the Lord will always teach me to refrain my tongue from speaking evil.) Yet, I could not remember now, if I ever really spent some time confiding to the One who loves and cares about me most, perhaps I did, but for sure I didn’t let Him speak to me.

I quitted my job finally, blaming my workload, bosses, colleagues and all, but never myself. I felt I needed rest. I did what I thought will bring me peace and contentment, I drew, I read, I designed on my own, I travelled, yet that emptiness didn’t depart. I did that for almost 5 months, feeling that that should do the work of removing that frustration, discontentment within. Yet that feeling lingered on even when I was already in my 5th month of rest.

It was finally at this point that I realized I should seek the Lord. I finally asked Him why. It was then I heard the least expected reply, or rather, the answer.

“I miss you.” He spoke.
It was a tender voice, not audible, it came from within, but it was more than enough to impact me. I finally understood. I had gone about living life as if the life I lived was mine.

That was in 2007. Yes, I am back working, and coping with my studies. Today, I realized it is not the workload. I am still loaded with work, yet the workload did not carry with it frustration. I also realized it is not the people or circumstances around us that affect us. It is the state of my heart, that needs continual recharging, and that can only comes by spending time with Him, talking and hearing from Him. Life without Jesus being involved, will end up being in frustration for sure, it is just a matter of time before it has gotten so big that one realized. Frustration happens when we lost sight of the One who loves us most and gave His life for us.

“I miss you, I love you”. The voice of the Shepherd speaking to His sheep.

My Neighbour

2009-02-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

It’s been a month since I dropped by! Having my short school break now, that explains why I drop by…

More than a week ago, was my Mum’s birthday, when the entire family of 21 persons were gathered together for dinner, as the yearly custom was. On this particular day, after dinner, we all decided to head to my place to take a family photo together, and also to sing the birthday song over the birthday cake with my Mum. Therefore while the other family members were heading home, a few of us rushed to the nearby shopping mall to get a cake. While the rest were waiting for us in the car at the roadside, my niece and I headed to the cake shop, very focused on attaining our purpose, after all so many people were waiting for us at home.

On the way, we saw a crowd gathering, and like most curious Singaporeans, we passed by quickly while at the same time took a quick look. To our dismay, a man, probably in his 50-60s, must have fallen down, and there were some blood on the floor where he was lying … (and to write the following, I am being vulnerable to all who are reading this) At that instant, I was already engaging my mind, looking at him, in an attitude of “judging”, my mind was already faster than my heart could take over. Perhaps, trying to look concerned, I began debating with my niece if we should consider calling the ambulance (of course we should call, that goes without asking!), and what numbers to call. Yet, we still headed to the shop after a short pondering, after all, a car was waiting for us at the road side, and a huge family waiting for the cake at home. Moreover, there were so many onlookers, surely someone must have called the ambulance by now, I reasoned within.

As I held the cake in my hand, we passed by the injured man again, this time, a lady was already wiping the blood off his head, and at that very moment, I could hear my heart crying out, saying “ You could actually do that, offer that little bit of help… that isn’t difficult”. Doubtless, my reasoning was faster than the compassion of my heart earlier on. Selah.

Why am I sharing this tiny fragment of my life recently? Because as I was reading a certain book recently, there was a mention of the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible. When Jesus was asked who was our neighbour, He shared this story. Our neighbour is whoever is around us and who is in need. The Samaritan fulfilled the role of a neighbour when he stopped in the midst of his busy schedule, to help someone who was in a position in need of help. Both the priest and the Levite, people highly regarded in the society, perhaps, after considering too much about their roles and positions, viewed it not befitting to offer help. It is as if at that moment, God was asking 3 persons, who is available? And only a Samaritan answers the call for help. Two responded with their brains, while only one responded with his heart.

I suddenly realized, how often in life, I acted more like the priest and the Levite, though many a times when I read this passage from the Bible, I almost despised the attitude of the priest and the Levite, trusting that I surely would act like what the Samaritan did. I finally understood, I identified myself with the priest and the Levite. I saw my self-righteous attitude…Selah. Yet, in the midst of all these thoughts, to my surprise, I felt loved, and not condemned, being very thankful to Daddy God. In and as of myself, truly there is nothing wonderful, for without Him, I am nothing. At that moment, I am reminded again, this is how Daddy God chastens His beloved child, through His loving word of life. Again I realized how much I must be loved by my Daddy God that He bothers to teach me with His loving word.

Heaven & Earth

2009-01-10T10:44:00.004+08:00

A whole new year has begun, my school has started on a new semester. It is again a time of adjustment for me, after a one month break. In fact, I was really tired out for the last week, going to bed as early as 1030am as and when possible. Soon, I will get used to it again, praise the Lord!

Recently I have been pondering, and also at the same moment, very grateful for the time I am in. I am glad I am of this age. I am glad I have the opportunity to receive an education, the ability to read, the freedom to study, able to write, design and draw, to express myself and my belief. Much more, the freedom to love, to share the One I love, it may not be big gestures, but as simple as writing on this blog. Thank you all for coming here occasionally to read my thoughts, enjoy my art, and hearing me speak of my beloved Shepherd, this is my little platform of expression that I have been blessed with. And thanks for all the comments, I receive them with joy.

Reading on the history of the church, I am thankful. Thankful for those who have gone on before us, those who have given up their lives to give us what we have today. I read of the early church, how many were persecuted for their faith, how many chose to hold on to their belief and be killed, how many have preserved writings, risked their lives for the Word, so that we get to enjoy it today. I am indeed very blessed. We stand upon those who gave up their lives to give us what we have today.

Just last week, I heard someone said this to me, and my heart was moved, I believe I will remember this for a long time to come. He said the following:

Earth is the only hell we Christians will ever be in, yet Earth is the only heaven a sinner will ever know.

Take some time to ponder on this and be blessed. Indeed, this place where we are now, is the only place where we as Christians will ever experience sorrowful tears, heartbreaks, disappointment, frustrations, etc. However, this is also the only place a sinner will ever catch a glimpse of heaven through our lives, we are living advertisements for our Shepherd in this place in whatever field or influence we may represent or have. We are the Rep for our Shepherd here. Selah.

I am grateful that I can play a part. Guess no one is in a better position to reach the people around me than me, and no one can reach the people around you than you. What a blessed position and honour we are each given to play a part in. Thank you Shepherd. May You work in our lives, not of us, but all of Christ! Cheers!

The Most Beautiful And The Ugliest

2008-12-14T20:03:00.009+08:00

This blog has taken me days to write, perhaps with so much to write, yet finding no word appropriate to describe. Pondering on the cross. I have come to one conclusion, my own conclusion. The cross, the most beautiful expression of the love this world has ever witnessed, but is also the ugliest human act ever performed on this earth.

The most beautiful expression of the love of God, that God Himself would actually send forth His only begotten Son to come and die for mankind. My puny human mind still cannot understand why should the Creator send forth His One and only Son to come and save a group of rebellious creation? I have done many models of buildings since trained as an architect, much as I love my design and creations, I still cannot bring myself to die for them. What I will likely do is that I will abandon the old and create a better one.

Looking at the expanse of the universe, I wonder why would the Greatest Being, the Creator, bothers to come into this earth, unto this tiny planet, to be confined to the dimension of time, body and space, to live among us, and yet the most unfathomable part of it all, His destiny is to die, His purpose, one great mission in His life, to die for His beloved - us.

This is love. I believe it will take me the whole eternity to discover...

The ugliest human act. We put our Creator, the One that brought us forth into this world, to death. We turned our back against Him, the One who gave us everything on this earth to enjoy. This act alone is worse than any war or human act that we human beings have ever performed.

The ugliest human act in History ever, putting the One who created us to the cross.

What a moment in history, when the most beautiful expression of love and the ugliest act coincide!

When I ponder on this, everything around me fades away, every fear and cause of worry, every undesirable circumstance no longer seems threatening, for if Jesus loves me enough to die for me, what is there to fear anymore? Frustration comes, disappointment surfaces, fear appears, worry invades, when I lose sight of the cross... The cross, where my Lord shows me how much He loves me. The greatest Being loves me!

As I ponder, the perspective in life becomes clearer and clearer. The reason why there are times I still feel frustration, disappointment, betrayal, let down, anger, all these happen in one form or another when I lose sight of the One who died on the cross for me... All my loved ones and friends out, there, do help me out with this. If (whenever) I ever fall into these traps again in the coming days, do remind me instantly that I have again lost sight of the One who love me and gave Himself for me, this is the best thing you can ever give to me then, friends.

As for now, I endeavour by His grace only, that this vision will never be taken away before my eyes. I pray the same for you too.

Blessed Christmas! Jesus loves me! He is the reason for this joyous day!

(I finished the painting above last year during my 6-month long break, titled "behind the cross", this is where I am living now, enjoying all that He did on the cross for me.)

Holiday Holiday

2008-12-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

Enters into my first week of school holiday this week. Just immediately after the final day of school for this semester, I flew off for a really short holiday to Taiwan! And before I know it, the holiday is over, and I am now sitting down before my laptop, typing this.

Going to school is really fun, for the last 5 months, attended school in the morning and rushing off to work in the afternoon was a daily joyful routine. Not sure how to put this into words, it was something I enjoyed doing daily. Despite the full day of concentration required, despite the little flexibility to my time management (I used to be able to decide when I want to go holiday, and for how long, normally for about 3 weeks), despite lesser time for entertainment, watching TV, etc, it is truly fulfilling. It is almost like I have lived my day to the fullest, with little to regret.

Now that I enter a month of school holiday, back to a full day's work. Today is just the first day. Still adjusting, at least for today, it is truly quite hectic with 2 meetings, and several hours at site, climbing up and day, solving issues and problems, still it was fun.

Quite amazing, for the last 6 days, I went Taiwan with my nephew, our free and easy trip, actually more like a shopping and eating trip. I like Taiwan, though this is not my first time there, I still like Taiwan, and will likely go back again in a few years time. Shopping is great, at Wufenpu and Ximending, fashion and style that I love! Food is really not expensive. Way finding is easy, afterall, we stay in Ximending, a great location to stay! Besides visiting the "must-visit" such as 101, museum, and memorial halls, we venture slightly further north to Danshui, Yangmingshan (lots of hiking), go down to Wulai, and go east to Ruifang by train, visited Jiufen, one of those lovely scenic streets that I loved, has a little flavour of Kyoto. Finding the way around was not really tough, but the road names are a bit confusing, and taking buses are not easy if one cannot read Chinese.

The whole trip has marks of Daddy God's blessing. We have such wonderful pleasant weather throughout, there were no rainy days (though internet weather forecast said it was likely to rain for a few days), the weather was cool except for the last day when it was hot, however, that was the day that we also learnt how to take bus to lessen walking and it was our shopping day anyway.

The journeys out of Taipei was planned really quite last minute, one day before the actual day, simply relying on brochures and lonely planet (though the latter was not really reliable, some important information was missing, such as not informing us that visitor's centre at Yangmingshan is closed on Monday, some buses that brings one around scenic areas only run on public holiday and weekend, etc, etc.) But still, thank God, we made it to those places and made our way back too. And we managed to save a substantial amount as we did not take on any package tours which I initially was planning to, and therefore save more money for Christmas shopping!

This trip will likely mark the last oversea holiday for this year for me, till I finally graduate in May next year, before I go for my next holiday, not sure where.... But definitely, something to look forward to. However, meanwhile, I will enjoy my holiday, and look forward to school reopens! Cheers!

What Is Your Song?

2008-11-01T09:59:00.002+08:00

Recently i encountered two heartwarming episodes, that I know I must write down, so that after some years when I looked back, I would still remember these 2 almost insignificant yet powerful episodes.

Just today, as I had to visit the bank, I reluctantly went to have my breakfast at the market with my mom. (Actually I don't really like wet market since young, I dislike the wet feeling that gets on the slippers which is always associated with it, plus the rain today, it is likely to be wetter.)

Anyway, as I sat down waiting for the food, sharing table with 2 very young children, the older brother, I think is about 9 to 10 years of age and a little sister, maybe 6 years old or younger. The brother, though still young, bought the prata breakfast for the sister and himself, after which he went to buy drinks. As he sat down, unconsicously, he push the curry gravy as close to his sister as possible even though he is also sharing the gravy. Then he opened the lid of the Ribena that he has ordered, and pour for his sister first and then himself. All the while, the sister had already started eating even before the drinks have arrived. Finally, when the sister had been well taken care of, he proceeded to eat his own prata. The sister had an egg prata, whereas he himself had a plain prata. I was speculating, perhaps he gave the better one to his sister? Yes, love is displayed right before my eyes, an unselfish love, expressed by a young little boy for his younger sister, a very touching scene that I witnessed. Thank God for the breakfast I had at the wet market. I almost wanted to commend the little boy, but I decided not, after all, it is something so natural and so beautiful, anything that I attempted to add to it will spoil the beautiful scene.

Last Sunday, as usual, I would spend my time from 9pm to 1045pm watching the Taiwan singing competition (similar to American Idol, but to me, much more watchable, and heartwarming). Each week they will come up with a theme for the competitors to select their songs to sing. So it happened during that week, the topic was to choose a song that represent their lives or an important episode in their lives. Each chose different songs, several chose songs that are sad, sentimental, be it in memory of a lost loved one, the difficulties in life, etc. At that moment, I felt in my heart, a question popped up, if I am one of the contestants, what will be my song. Almost instantaneously, I said to myself, "Amazing Grace?", for surely I was once a wretched sinful soul, saved only by grace. Yet just then, I caught myself, who in the world will choose a Christian song for such a renowned secular singing competition? (I was ashamed of myself for thinking those thoughts.)

With that I went on watching. Just as the show had come to the final few contestants, this guy came forward, and he told the compere the song he chose was "Amazing Grace", revised version by Chris Tomlin, one of my favourite rendering for this song. My eyes were almost overwhelmed with tears. The guy said, as he was listening to his other peers singing their songs, he realised indeed how blessed he is, with his family always with him, and that is why he chose the song, no really sad episode in life, just a heart of gratitude for his blessednesses. I was touched by his choice and his singing. What I least expected was that, after his singing, the judges said they were very touched by his singing and the way he expressed the song, almost felt that sense of love in it, despite it being a Christian song. And much to my surprise, he had the highest point of 20 among all the contestants in that episode, praise the Lord! I almost forgot one can choose to praise the Lord in such a public assembly, yet received such glory and also touches life! Indeed love can be seen!

I am awed.
I am touched.
So what is your song today?

Father's Love

2008-10-11T12:44:00.002+08:00

I was reading a newspaper article today, on a Myanmar father saving as much as he can for his son to come to Singapore to study. One of the things that he said really cause me to ponder for a while, he said he and his wife do not have much...but they will sell their home and work for the rest of their lives, if they have to, to send their children to Singapore.

This really causes me to think, I must have been in such a blessed position, that all I have in life, education, family, a job, a place to stay, are blessings that I have taken for granted, perhaps sunken into a subscious thinking that it is my rightful rights to have them. Selah.

For another family, the parents' desire is to send their children to Singapore to study, and as for themselves, they have no plans to move here, so long as their children have a good future, they will be happy.

Selfless love... what do they benefit from slogging so hard to save for their children's future? After all, they are not likely going to share their children's success? Unconditional love... A love that sees not of oneself's need, but looks beyond, and only sees the desires, needs, the dreams of the one whom one loves. Selah.

If we mere human beings can have this kind of love, this love that only exhibits a greater love, (love comes from Father God for God is love), how much more will our Heavenly Father who loves us, desires to do even more for us? His sending His only begotten Son is the evidence... Selah.

Holiday!

2008-10-01T19:22:00.013+08:00

It has been more than a month! Okay, I have been pretty busy, no time to draw, no time to blog... But life has taken on a less competitive mode, although now having to juggle studies, work and other commitments all at the same time, yet somehow everything seems to lapse into a less achievement environment, everyday is simply just completing the daily task, enjoying my studies and lots of reading. (Thank God, I love to read!)

I decided I should write a more "artistic" blog today since for the longest time, I have not drawn and published any recent works. Since I started going back to school, all oversea holiday plans are likely not possible till perhaps in December holiday or put off till next year. Therefore I decided to give myself an artistic tour today, visiting a few of the Art Biennale sites. To my own surprise, I didn't expect myself to enjoy it so much, so I wanted to share some of the interesting works I came across Today. (I literally felt as if I am on holiday, enjoying my usual museum visits... one of my favourite destinations during oversea holidays, yah, I am a pretty "boring" person, friends would normally give museums a miss.)

So here I go to show a few of my favourites. This is the containers with paper rolls "Central Promontory Site". A few interesting works are found here.I like the views between the containers. Remember those years studying architecture, when I attempted to also design a building with containers.

The following is one I greatly enjoyed, it is an exhibit in one of the containers. I dreamt of doing something similar in one of my design recently.... but was abolished due to cost... So I am happy that someone did it! It is a loop movie of "nothing much"....

I love the following art work. This is quite cool, different images through different coloured glass. Actually quite philosophical... Life.... Isn't life a bit like this... depending on how one looks at it.

The followings are quite worth noticing too... The photos should be self explanatory. The first is a small room made up of old things stacked together... memories of the past...The second is a neon swing... The third is the connected rays which only made sense from one particular view in the immense space (Actually I like the space more)...

The following is one of my all time favourites, one that I may remember for a long time, playing on the trick of illusion, in actual fact there are 2 totally symmetrical salons side by side, giving one the illusion that the mirrors are real... The details are really quite intense, even the explanatory notes are also mirror images. And take a look at the clocks!

Hope you have enjoyed the above photos, just as I did... I felt as if I had a short holiday Today... Okay, okay, time to get back to... hopefully some readings... time to study for my Friday's exam... maybe tomorrow.... Cheers!

Great Fun

2008-08-29T23:47:00.003+08:00

It's been weeks since I last wrote! Life is pretty busy, juggling between work and study, but not sure how to put it, there is a sense of fulfillment in the midst of studying and working. It's been 2 months since I started school, half day studying, while the later half working. Quite a struggle initally due to all the rush for tender, working late into the nights with my dear colleagues who rushed with me, checking drawings over weekend from home, poring over drawings at night, marking out the mistakes in red, reading my reading assignment as and when I had time. Yet, in the midst of these, I have great fun, everyday is exciting, everyday is a miracle!

Now that the tender preparation is over, and while I step into a week of school holiday, life seems to be back to the old days yet it seems not. There are new things I want to do, forgotten dreams and things I used to do being awaken.

I cherish the time spent in school, enjoy listening to my instructors, the rustling sound of turning the pages, listening and talking to new friends made, sensing their zeal infects me. Even more strange than it sounds, I enjoy my time in office working, more than the past, not sure why, time spent there now seems so precious and fun.

What's coming over me? I am not sure, but I believe I am having great fun in the Lord! Thank You Jesus! Cheers!

Been A Long Long Time

2008-08-02T00:44:00.002+08:00

It's been a long long time since I last wrote anything here. A friend commented that it is no fun reading my blog these days as there are no more illustrations. To be honest, I hardly have time to draw these days, but someday I will come back to them again, cos I have left some illustrations half done.

My routine life has taken on a slight change, so I was adjusting to it for the whole of last month. I have added on another role to my life, beside being a daughter to my mom, a quiet employee, now I have become a student. Been wanting to take on this role for sometime, and finally I mustered enough courage to actually go for it, after a pretty long pondering process. It's been really fun for the past one month! Rushing for tender at work, reading and doing my assignment, going to school, studying for exam, very busy indeed, but everything seems so exciting, even though I am physically very tired almost everyday, but somehow deep within, I felt it is all worthwhile! Almost everyday is exciting! Felt as if I found back a lost piece of puzzle.

That's it for now, a very short blog today, but thanks to all my friends for dropping by here once in a while, to see how I am doing, I am well, enjoying my Lord's provision! Cheers! Thanks all!

The Art of Eating

2008-07-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

Recently I was watching a Taiwanese drama, and I was intrigued by a very simple statement made by one of the main casts. She was having a conversation with another, asking him if he has any happy memories of the past? She gave a passing statement how good memories were associated with food. For a while I thought, was she trying to do an advertisment for Taiwan to draw people to their country with the offer of good food? I felt it was a passing statement with no basis at all. However, it seems to have some truth in it as I pondered a little, as many a times we remembered places we have been to by the kind of food we had there.

Yet, that statement just lingered at the back of my mind. Only yesterday, it jumped out of nowhere when I was having a quiet lunch by myself. I suddenly recalled a bible verse, a statement that our Shepherd had said before He headed to the cross. While He was breaking the bread and passing the wine, and instituted the Holy Communion, He said as often as we take the bread and drink the cup, do that in remembrance (in memory) of Him. Didn't Jesus say something of the same effect here? Perhaps food really has the ability to remind us of a certain memory after all. If the bible says so, it is definitely so.

And as I pondered further, I began to ask why then eating and drinking evokes certain memory? Perhaps it is this... Most of the time, we only engage our sight and hearing in most activities of our daily lives. Perhaps it is only when we are eating and drinking, we are actually engaging 2 other additional senses on top of hearing and sight, our taste and smell, it then dawns on me to realise that the one act of eating and drinking engages the most senses in any activities we do daily. Plus wine does have a sweet fragrance that engages our nose, and bread our taste bud.

Moreover, if we are to notice, it is many a times our sense of hearing and seeing that cause us worries and fears, especially through what we hear and see around us. Perhaps we are so dense that our Shepherd uses our two less use senses which are tasting and smelling to overcome our weakness due to what we see and hear daily... perhaps, just a thought. Isn't this amazing? Just a thought... The beauty of eating and drinking.

Nothing Superfluous

2008-06-22T21:16:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what Father God was thinking when He created the different elements, animals and trees, etc. Why did He create the elephant with a long nose, why a giraffe with a long neck? Why is the sky usually blue? Why is snow white? Why are leaves green and the tree trunks brown? Why does rain tree spread its branches whereas the willow hang down and sway? Why do colours of the rainbow add up to become white? Science can tell me all the above but it can hardly explain to me why. Is anything in creation superfluous?

I have learnt in church that nothing in the bible is superfluous, every single word is there for a purpose. When God is the Master Architect for the Tabernacle of Moses, there is no item in the building of the temple that is of no value of significance, every item, every socket, every detail speaks of His great love, expresses a certain symbology. This baffles me a great deal during my training in school to become an architect, and it still does. Perhaps no teacher in school taught me more on the theory of design concept more than the bible!

During my early years in architecture school, I was truly struggling every day, I have no idea what is design concept? All I thought previously was that, so long as one can design something beautiful, isn't that enough? I struggled, because I knew not how to start. I quit, because I realised my inability. I gave up, knowing that I can never design something as beautiful as even a tiny little leaf.

The above was the memory of the past. Recently, a colleague reminded me again, not that he knew of my past, but he brought up something that caused me to ponder a little. He is trained as a landscape architect, and he said everyone can design, can copy from books, can modify what others have produced to become theirs, but there is more to it, there should be more depth, the meaning behind it. Be it the tracing of even as simple as human movement pattern over a patch of grass, to mark the correct circulation path, there is more to design than just simply aesthetic.

I agreed, fully, totally. I enjoyed the process of "agonising" over forming a meaning or a concept for a design these days. I see design as a mean of expressing another depth, and it is not merely to create something beautiful anymore. I follow the route the bible illustrates, for if my Father God design everything with a meaning, for His beloved ones to explore and discover, I would want to follow His methodology, hopefully my design displays a certain level of thoughts and meaning, for people to explore, to enjoy and to ponder, just a little bit will do... just a little dream. Cheers!

Simplicity, a life of meaning

2008-06-01T18:21:00.005+08:00

Without fail, every year i would give myself a break from work on my birthday. I would not expect spending the day with friends as all would likely to be working, but will definitely want to spend it with my family. Nothing spectacular, just a nice simple lunch together, and this year, I saw the "biggest" crowd ever, not forgetting that it is a weekday. More than half of my nieces and nephews, not forgetting my Mum and Sis in grace, spent the day with me at a pretty neat restaurant (Tao's Restaurant), nice food with an interesting concept, but the interior decor could be improved and the place can be less noisy, though I would say the price is reasonable. Can consider hiring me as interior consultant... just kidding... I was thinking of how to improve the ambience...

The above marked the first photo I placed on this blog, my new addition to my toy collection, love them, they are miniature food display, and they are so cool, that I have the intention to expand my new collection for the coming year. (One set is a gift from my youngest niece, thanks a lot!) I just don't know why, I love toys, especially cute charming little toys, and I am going to get a new glass shelves for my toys very soon!

A year "older", it did start me pondering on life, yet again (I think I think too much at times). My life has been good, simple and secure, but I sometimes wonder, is this what I really want? Selah. Guess that is too personal to share with anyone, I am always in the good hand of my Shepherd. Cheers!

3 Years! Thanksgiving

2008-05-25T21:29:00.003+08:00

Today marked the 3rd year I created this site, amazing, it's been 3 years! And in a couple of days, I would be celebrating my birthday as well.

Yesterday, a bunch of good friends from church came to my place to celebrate my extra early birthday, to be honest, I was pretty touched, almost the entire gang turned up! Thanks to dear sister Nicole who organised, your beautiful basket and wrapping is so charming, I will think of how to use the basket for my home decor when free. Penny who has gotten the photo game and Cindy for the impromptu games. All who contributed to the self-sustainable plant, it's true it is a bit small, but thank God it is small, I am not a very responsible person, so small is good! Book vouchers from one of my favourite bookshop, though I don't really like receiving vouchers, I am glad I have gotten this, cos I was thinking of getting new books to read. Fruit from Cynthia which I didn't manage to cut and share with all, I shall finish them in the coming week as part of my salad dinner. Cake which is still in my fridge, sister, my family and I don't really take liquor stuff leh! I am trying my best to finish the cake a little by little a day, still have a quadrant, how? I like pure Chocolate/ice cream cake...hint hint for the future... And thanks Tingni's for thinking of contributing otah, my family loves otah, except me, don't know why, my mom forgot to throw that into the genes. And my mom's cooking, I love to share my mom's home cooked food with pals, so I have gotten her to make my favourite pobiah and curry.

I recalled the last time I met up with the same gang was last Christmas, and I realised I have actually missed out so much since! I didn't know a dear friend's pregnancy, another's recent career change, etc. A little sense of regret did overwhelm me a little as I pondered, I hardly have time these days to catch up with them, not because of my work, in fact my work situation is almost ideal now, it is quite unbelievable. Sorry, friends, Sunday is bit tough to have lunch together these days, and I also feel paiseh to ask you all to wait for me, it will take far too long...

Come to think of it, all these friends were made over a long period of time, 3 were from secondary school, 2 from university, 3 were from church camp, 2 were from queuing up for church service and then the group grows and grows. This is a little secret here, there was a time quite long ago I wish all the different gangs of friends in church will become good friends with one another, and it seems like it has sort of come to pass. Amazing!

No special resolution or things to accomplish, just want to thank Daddy God for my family, friends, my health and career and a year ahead of knowing Him a little more, for Jesus is my Shepherd and I shall not want. Cheers!

X & Y

2008-05-11T21:30:00.004+08:00

Remembered I bought a new phone recently? I also changed a phone provider at the same time, after 8 years... As a result, I have to changed my phone number which has been faithfully serving me for the past 8 years. Not that I wanted to change my number, just wanted to have a new phone, and a new service provider...that was 2 months back, not knowing that IDA is going to introduce the full mobile number porting system by June, which means I can have a new service provider and yet retain my existing number. Now that it is finally going to happen, the sentimental part of me has decided to use back my old number, after having used my new number for barely 2 months, as I could hardly remember my new number instantly. So forgive me all my friends, that I have smsed you all twice to change and revert back to my number, I am just a victim of the system.

I missed seeing colourful pictures on my blog... do you? I have drawn a little recently, but they are not for the purpose of blogging. I missed drawing for this blog, so here it goes.

I was reading about the Generation Y yesterday in the papers, and I realised that I have actually been classified under Generation X due to my age, though I felt I am more a Generation Y than many of the Generation Y people I knew. (According to the test I took, I am a Generation Y, irregard of my age, hehe! Refused to be older!) So what makes a Generation Y? One that uses sms, blogs, creates website, watch online, use facebook, download songs... etc. And what is so unique about this group of people? They go for "freedom" and quality of life. Think I belong to this generation!

Today I watched a Taiwanese documentary, about people who have achieved some sort of recognition in their small respective fields. One is an ice cream maker, only at the age of 55, who finally decided to go with his dream. He said something pretty profound, he used to work, work for the sake of money, for the sake of his family, for the sake of living. Now he works because he simply enjoy his work. Another is one that perfect the skill of making chicken, how they would actually look into very small details to perfect their recipe, for the past 30 years. Amazing! Yet there seems to be one thing in common in both of them, they enjoyed themselves. First thing first, enjoy yourself, and the end product will usually end up good! Just my simple conclusion. Cheers!

Whether Weather Wetter

2008-05-04T18:31:00.004+08:00

For the last two weeks, as far as I could remember, the weather was almost unbearable. There were several occasions when there seem to be rain arriving, but soon we realised they were just false alarms. These were also the rare occasions that I did not want to stay at home, and even felt being in office was not a bad idea after all. Not that I have no air-conditioning system at home, just that it is not available in my living dining room. The same time last year seemed more bearable, as then I still remember I was resting at home and I was able to stand the heat. Complain complain complain. I pray for rain to come soon, hopefully tonight.

Interesting to note, I ended up blaming almost everything on the weather. The attempt to draw something on the last labour day was given up, I blamed it on the weather. I went grocery shopping with my Mom, ended up buying lots of things, I blamed it on the weather. I was quite lazy for the last 2 weeks, ended up spending labour day sleeping, I blamed it on the weather. My... the blaming problem has not ceased since the day Adam fell...

This marks almost the end of another lazy weekend... Wake up little lamb... wake up. (I actually dozed off twice while watching TV just now...) Hope I will acomplish something in the coming week... selah.

Nothing In Particular

2008-04-21T22:55:00.002+08:00

Nothing in particular to write, except just a little "frustrated", perhaps due to several issues combined recently. Been wondering,why do we Asians view ourselves as more inferior when compared to other nationalities? This is not just my opinion. Let me bring up a case in point. There was this particular day when I was walking to office, and along the way, I began to notice the advertisements of the shops. Suddenly I caught myself asking, "am I in Singapore or not? Doesn't Singapore has more Chinese, Malays and Indians than Europeans, Americans, Australians etc...?" I was puzzled, because almost all the models portrayed in the advertisements I saw were not Chinese, Indian nor Malay, and even the mannequins have blond hair... I am simpled baffled, or rather frustrated...

This is not just confined to fashion per se, even in the field I am in, similar situation surfaces. Yet sometimes I wonder, aren't we just as good, or perhaps better at times? (Pardon me, but I am not being prideful here, just want to state a point). Perhaps I can call this the grasshopper mentality, when we start belittling ourselves, or when we imagine ourselves as that, we slowly become that of what we imagine ourselves to be... Selah, forgive me, just venting a little frustration here... Cheers!

Distraction From My Newly Acquired Toy

2008-04-06T21:01:00.005+08:00

I bought a new toy a few days ago, and have been busy with it for the past few days, surfing the net, reading online thread, sourcing for softwares etc, it is indeed a tiring process, but I am glad I am almost half way there. I finally bought a pda phone, something that I have been wanting to get for the last few months, waiting and researching on a perfect model, or rather one that meets all my needs and wants. Why a pda phone, when in the past all I was interested in was a good camera phone, and later on a good walkman phone? After all, isn't a phone just a tool for calling and smsing?

It is all because of "envy". I have a very good couple friends who each has a pda phone, and whenever we are together studying the bible, they will read me different versions of the same verse, and sometimes even possible to give me the concordance numbers and meaning of the word, something that I am unable to do until I reach home and switch on my laptop to do an online search. I "envied" them. It took me almost more than a year to finally succumbed to this "temptation" and I bought it finally after several rounds of research, between several models available in the market and finally settle for this. It is a very beautiful gem indeed, one that satisfies my eyes, one that is of simple minimalistic clean design, and yet meet all the functions I would ever want. I did ponder a few months back, should I get an iphone (it is now quite easy to find one here, though it has not been offiicially brought in yet), or a pda phone, and finally I settle for the latter, main reason being the ease of getting the softwares and the functions I really need rather than the beauty of iphone, the functional me at work again. I thank Daddy God for this new phone, now I can bring around with me "several books" plus a mini "laptop" in just one simple phone, and if those real books were to be carried around, I think I may need a luggage! Not to mention it is also a simple camera and a mp3 player (though I still carry a separate camera and mp3 player with me everyday). I hope I will not let the full capability of the phone to go to waste... (Pardon me for "boasting" about my new toy, it is such a blessing to me! Guess my joy has also indirectly influenced my niece to get the same phone...)

This new toy is indeed a distraction to me from what I originally was planning to do during the last week, draw and paint more, I repent. Two weeks ago, I was indulging in my drawing, and a week after I am indulging in my new gadget. Oh, I wonder what I would be doing next week... I will try to promise I will not talk about my new toy here again! I just hope my friends can share my little happiness here now with me! Cheers!

P.S Yes, friend, thanks for your comment, I am indeed talking about you in the last post. When are you free anyway, to join me for a service? Cheers, Jesus loves you!

朋友

2008-03-23T20:44:00.002+08:00

昨天与一同学美术的中学同学一块聚餐。我们也已认识了二十出年了吧！说也奇怪，同班也不过只有两年，而自从毕业以后，我们也最多一年见上一两回面，但大家的感情还算蛮好的。当中也有好几位已彼此成立了非常要好的友谊。不需常见面，但一旦见了面，便有谈不完的话题，这就是朋友的定义吧！

当中有许多也已成立了家庭，生儿育女。大家也在不同的领域努力，有的离乡背井，有的还在执著与美术有关的行业，有的则为家人奋斗，各自怀着不同的目标与目的努力生活。也只有在象昨天的那种环境里，大家一同约好停下脚步，歇息一下下，聚一聚。

其实我还蛮珍惜这群好友。回想十几年前吧，我时常在那时祷告，希望这群朋友有一天也会了解与接受耶稣对他们的爱，我恳切地祷告与祈求着，因为我过去的想法很单纯（其实现在也是），只有这样，大家才能做永永远远的朋友。这也是我唯一不敢自私，自己独享的礼物。

今天也以华文书写，因为有一位老同学看到我上周也用华文写我的Blog (布罗格？)，数落了我一番，是乎不敢相信我还会用华文书写，这就是我，不肯认输的我。虽写的不好，不过我还是写了！朋友，服了吗？希望有一天你也会和我一同去教堂。我们有约哟！

感激

2008-03-16T21:50:00.005+08:00

已三个月没画画了。也许是工作回家后都已觉得蛮累了，根本提不起劲，头脑似乎也空空的，没有什么灵感。

前几天收到一份包裹，第一眼还以为是好友寄上他们的画展请帖，所以也就没立即打开来看。（朋友，不好意识，当时真的有一点累。）洗澡过后，打开一看，原来是一本几米的书，一本曾听他们问我有没有买的书，如果没有，想送我。我之前也还以为他们是开个玩笑，没想到他们真把书给寄来了，好感动！朋友，谢谢你们，你们旅行还好玩吧！我是蛮喜欢这作者的书，但时常觉得他的书太感伤了。这本道出他的图书的故事来源，我在短短的几天就要看完了。谢谢你们的鼓励，有好朋友真的好幸福。

也因为如此，今天破例，我用华文书写，表示感激。我真的很享受画这些小图画的过程。但也许也已画了快三年，有一点累了，我开始想突破，画出一些能改变人的小图画。我的意识是，我开始贪心了，希望它们能带一点点快乐给悲伤的人，掀起一点点希望给放弃的人，让人看了心理有股温软涌上心头。我没打算改变世界，只希望朋友看了脸上多了个微笑，多了点勇气，这就是我的私心。也许也就因为这样，我开始想认真的改进我上色的方法，并认真的想想自己应该如何继续。

I finally touched my paintbrush again today, and finally painted one of my sketches that I did months ago. I really enjoyed the process, thanks, friends, the "book" encouraged me to pick up the paintbrush to paint again. And yes, I will not be posting much work these days, I am thankful to Daddy God, that this blog has started me drawing again for the last 3 years. Many sweet memories evoked in the process, and many of the works posted here have been my practicing ground, as means for me to improve and experiment. I enjoyed this blog, and enjoyed drawing for this blog, however, it has come to a point that you may hardly see new work now, not that I have stopped drawing, no worries, I will continue, because this is what I love to do, but I hope to keep them to myself first, maybe occasionally will share some here.

The above will mark almost the last artwork for this blog for the meantime. A piece that I greatly loved, but I wished I did it with shadow effect to express the depth I wanted to create, may touch up someday. This is one piece that I did not actually want to publish, but think it is good to end with a favourite, so here it goes. I think I will still continue writing though. Cheers. Jesus loves us!

Sweet Memories

2008-02-25T23:35:00.008+08:00

It's been weeks since I last wrote. Chinese New Year is over, and since my trip back from NY, the pace of life seems so fast. One doesn't seem to accomplish much, though a lot of things are waiting to be done. Although I did not work late, yet upon reaching home from work, I tend to just want to sit in front of the TV rather than before my laptop.

Recently, I seem to be flooded with lots of old memories. My godfather, he used to be my neighbour, visited me every 3rd day of the Chinese New Year. I, being the youngest child in the family, with all my siblings so much older, even my youngest older brother and I are 11 years apart. I used to love standing outside my neighbour's house, as they have 5 girls, and every time while I stood there, I always hoped they would open their door to welcome me in to join them in their games, be it cooking, game of pretending, playmobil, etc. That was when I started wanting my Dad to buy me more toys, perhaps subconsciously, I hope my neighbours would want me to play with them because of my toys, I sounded pathetic...

I did have a great time though, playing with them. That few years broadened my ability to imagine, as we played so much of the game of pretending, and legos and wooden blocks and manjong to make houses etc, and how all those experiences have translated me to enjoy architecture now. As I got closer to them, they made me (actually my mom asked) their goddaughter and that is how our relationship lasts till now even after we had moved house about 20 years ago. Sweet memories. Thank God for them, that I have great childhood playmates.

For the past 3 weeks, I caught up with 2 old friends, both from university. In fact, I hardly spoke 10 sentences with one of them in school then, I believe. Yet, how strange divine destiny works. We happened to meet last year at a wedding, realizing that she might be my colleague, and since then, we have been keeping in touch regularly. And now, only recently, I met up an old friend too, how we have lost touched for so many years, though we did briefly met 2 years ago. I believe in God's restoration, time of renewing old friendships, time of putting away old prejudice, time of starting afresh, learning to change the way we used to think, allowing Daddy God to make a difference in our lives, and learning to accept others just the way they are. Learning to wait, and to accept things as they are, though not necessary what you want them to be, but trusting Him that all things work together for good. Cheers.

This week shows one of my favourite recent works, it was done about 3 months back, I loved it so much, I was quite reluctant to show it in this blog, except that I have not completed any new art work. The thing about me is I love to keep what I like most quietly to myself including my artwork, for own enjoyment, and this is one of those, it seems a little "lonely" at first, but it isn't so. I love it, the serene and quiet starry night. Show you the actual picture next time!

P.S. Actually I wrote this a week ago, but wanted to add a little more before publishing it, but I was so busy that it took me till now (2 March 08) to look at it again.

Home at last, Rest

2008-02-05T21:10:00.000+08:00

Touched down yesterday. Slept whole day yesterday, jetlag. Went to work with lots of things to rush before Chinese New Year while running a high fever Today. Doctor said "Office wouldn't care about our health, I should just go back home to rest." Anyway, didn't listen to my doctor totally, went home only at 3plus, after meeting. (Fear crept up, what if I cannot meet my dateline next week, cos of all the Chinese New Year break? Already arranged for meeting, how can I not appear and be on MC when I was the one who requested for the meeting? Drawings need to be sent out today before our holiday break. Etc etc.) Ponder. Is this the kind of life I really want? I "flared" up Today for the first time since I returned to work last year. Sign of stress. Selah. Rest, rest, rest. No more the old way of doing things for me, I need to rest in the Lord in whatever I do. Grace grace.

I shall post some cute illustrations soon, did quite a few before I left for NY, but they are all not coloured. Had a great flight back home, pardon my ignorance, for the first time, I took a direct SQ flight back from NY, it was so spacious even for the economy class! There is a continuous supply of snacks at the snack counter. The first time I felt I travel "in style"! Praise the Lord! All airline economy seats should be like this! One don't feel that bad or uncomfortable due to the long 18 hours flight because of the comfort on the plane. Thank God! Okay, time to go and let my body rest again...body must be tired out due to the extreme weather difference and having to adjust to all the time difference, etc. I go rest now, so as to enjoy my Chinese New Year holiday! Cheers, I am alright! Blessed Chinese New Year!

Coming Home

2008-02-02T15:05:00.001+08:00

I am heading home tomorrow, praise the Lord! I missed our hawker food, mee siam, you tiao, etc etc... I have been taking sandwiches for lunch for several days, I simply cannot understand why one would want to eat cold sandwiches in winter... I miss home cooked food, miss church, miss home...

However, the trip is fruitful, learn a lot, not in skills per se, but rather learning to work with others... (I know all along I am not an easy person to work with, for several reasons, for the good of the project, wanting to be efficient, having pretty high standard, wanting to complete as much within a short time, little patient for slowness, okay, okay, all these are excuses.) I did enjoy the process this time, all praise to the Lord again.

Finally caught a musical today, or rather yesterday, since it is already past midnight. We just bought any reputable musical and watched, my colleagues and I, with me sort of influencing them to watch with me. We watched Mamma Mia, one that I didn't manage to catch when it was showing in Singapore. It was cool! We had a good time! This caught me sort of addicted, to go shopping tomorrow or should I watch another musical (hopefully The Lion King) before I rush off to catch my flight back. Guess I will know my final decision tomorrow, likelihood is both! Cheers, see you all back home soon!

A Few Days More

2008-01-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

Into the second week working here in NY, I am still adjusting to the time difference, the cold weather, the waking up in the middle of the night. The hardest being working with total foreigners. Speaking English to foreigners seems to make me tongue tied, though sometimes I felt I seem to be right, due to my limited vocabulary, I ended in the wrong, selah. Grace grace. A time of learning, to be calm and collected, almost every moment having to look to the Lord for direction and strength to stay cool.

I am going home early! I got my flight changed to an earlier date, praise the Lord! (Hopefully I can finish my work on time though.) 3 days before Chinese New Year, instead of the original 1 day before, so I should have enough time to catch up on my sleep. This time round, I didn't have much time to see NY, and have yet watched my musical, though I did bring my colleagues on a short condensed tour in NY, and catch up with an old friend shopping. (Come to think of it, actually quite fruitful in many ways except the material part, as in shopping, as I hardly buy anything this time round.) So dear ones back home, see you all soon during Chinese New Year, and I crave for my Chinese New Year goodies! Keep some for me! Cheers and Shalom!

4th Day

2008-01-26T12:12:00.000+08:00

I have been here for 4 days. It is really quite cold here, though it has not snowed since the day we arrived. Work has been busy, though not exactly like working OT everyday, but lots of eating with local working partners, brainstorming and getting used to the working culture locally. Fighting the jetlag is no easy task, I am pretty alert in the middle of the night, waking up at 5am only after 4 to 5 hours sleep, and feeling drowsy in the afternoon while working, even after being here for 4 days, still adjusting.

Work has begun, though still much waiting to be done, I have tentatively asked for early flight home if possible (hopefully reach home 2 days before Chinese New Year, still on waitlist). It is a pretty steep learning curve, working in a totally different culture, working with totally unfamiliar people (this is my main difficulty), coping with pretty incredible timeline, yet Daddy God has indeed see me through thus far.

Tomorrow will be a day of seeing NY again, now in winter, and perhaps do a little shopping and or catch a musical, while bringing some of my nice young colleagues around since I have been here before, hopefully I will not end up showing them the wrong direction... grace grace, wisdom... cheers! Send my regards to my loved ones back home! Jesus loves us! Know that I am well and healthy!

Back to NY City

2008-01-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

I reached New York after a long 24 hours flight. Travelling to this part of the world is not exactly fun to me, mainly due to the long flight, especially when one is restricted to a tiny seat and time seems to have travelled backwards by 12 hours. (I had 2 breakfast meals in a row, one before transit at Frankfurt and another on my way to NY, scary!) I will be here for 2 weeks, working, and I am already missing some good Chinese New Year goodies.

Of course, one can keep focusing on the negatives, and lose sight of what Daddy God is doing. Therefore this must be recorded down. All thanks to Him, we were greeted on our first day of arriving in NY with a snowfall. We had a light snowfall after we reached our hotel, and we are indeed quite excited, though it was not huge enough a fall to make snow balls and snow man. (This being my secret desire. Previously it was raining and not snowing...according to my understanding.)

To be honest, this trip was pretty rush for me, and I had made no plan as to what I would want to see this time round, since I had saw most of the stuffs I wanted a year ago. Therefore my free time here (if there is any, perhaps weekend), will really be free, hopefully indulging in a musical, visiting art galleries again, or spend some time reading in Central Park. Selah.

Dear ones, don't miss me too much, this time round I am likely not buying things for you all, since it is not a tour but work trip. Whoever is free, call my mom and tell her I am well, typing this blog to pass time, so as to sleep a little later in order that I will not wake up in the middle of the night. Cheers, my Shepherd with me always! Will keep in touch this way!

Slowly moving ahead

2008-01-13T20:02:00.000+08:00

3 weeks! December 07 was really a very busy month, shopping and preparing presents, planning Christmas parties, be a "photographer" for my niece's ROM using a fully automatic digital camera! (Cannot believe this, thank God for a good auto camera.) And finally when all were completed by New Year's eve or so, I was exhausted, and rested from updating this blog till now. The last 3 weeks were total indulgence, watching TV, shopping (for myself now), and working etc.

Today I was reminded of a thought I had several months back while I was walking home. How strange it is, have you every ponder on the fact that when 2 unknown parties are walking in opposite directions, that is the only opportunity for them to see each other's face. When 2 unknown parties are heading in the same direction, they never really get to see each other's face, perhaps only the back profile. Just a thought, nothing philosophical (actually a little). Perhaps only in life when we meet people moving in contrary direction to ours, do we really get to know one another? Just a thought. But the moment of encounter is very short and should be cherished. It is also an opportunity to learn to see things from other's perspective, a growing and humbling process.

The above is a colour pencil/water colour sketch I did several months back, during my resting period, finally decided to post it here, as I did not have any completed work for quite a long time. (I do have a few sketches but I have not sat down to colour them yet.) I really enjoyed my series of silhouettes, that series of work was done with more attention to detail, unlike the past, which also marked a change in my attitude towards my work perhaps, now to do everything with enjoyment and skill, at a slower but detailed pace, while at the same time picking up new skills to improve my works, to be good and skillful at what I am doing. Lifelong learning... selah.

Wish all a Blessed New Year! May you have a wonderful 2008 with the Lord, our Shepherd! We shall not be in want!

Blessed Christmas!

2007-12-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

This marks my 201 postings on my blog, amazing "achievement" since I developed a habit of writing since 2005, coming to 3 years in a few months time. Which means I must have drawn close to 200 illustrations within these few years. A time to look back and a time to look forward, yet not forgetting "Now". I had a little party with some friends recently, asking each what the year 2007 has meant to them. Yet, when it came to my turn to share, I was shocked that I was not at all prepared, was it that I was so busy with all the Christmas shopping? I pondered.

I love giving Christmas presents, I can't give a reason why, but just simply love it, especially for family members, it is not a "have to give " but a "want to give". I was indeed extremely busy, for I only really started shopping for gifts for my huge family in December. I would normally do my shopping even as early as October, November previously. Friends questioned why I needed so much time. So perhaps I would give a little account here. I endeavour to buy something or make something that hopefully will bring forth a little smile in the receiver, something that the person may not buy for herself/himself, but would love to have it, which is what I would always hope and pray to get in most of the Christmas presents I buy or make, though I can't say I got it right all the time. True, I also don't deny that there are times I give for the sake of giving, those politically correct cases, in those cases, then the gift is really gift exchange... I am sad to admit that I, too, has at time fallen into this trap. This year I have decided not to be doing so too much, and therefore, my gift giving has reduced substantially. I also don't like the fact that people has to return my gift because I gave them. I gave without expecting anything in return, though I do share the same attitude that I should return gifts if I receive any. Why can't I just receive freely? Selah.

This may explain a little of our attitude towards the best gift ever given to us, our Saviour, Jesus. I used to feel indebted, unworthy, wanted to repay the gift. Yet, there is no way we can ever repay His limitless goodness towards us, perhaps the best way is to simply receive and make Him really happy by doing so! This is the real reason for this season, our Saviour came to give His life for us more than 2000 years ago.

As for what 2007 meant to me, it is really a year of lots of ups and downs, mentally, emotionally... not easy, in fact pretty tough, lots of learning and much humbling process, I believe I have grown a little, may write about it another time if I feel right about it. Meanwhile, Blessed Christmas and our dearest Shepherd, Jesus, loves you and gave His life for you! People all over the world are celebrating this day, but let us not forget the reason for Christmas! Cheers! Merry Christmas!

Magnifying

2007-12-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

I heard quite an interesting sermon yesterday that further confirmed what I discovered last week. Recently I had a brush with the police. I discovered a puddle of water (smell like urine) on my mom’s slippers just outside my house. It was not raining that day and my neighbour’s cat was walking along the corridor. It must be the cat again, I concluded. (Though I didn’t see the actual act, but this is not the first time it had occurred.) Being the very vocal me, and someone who would always seek for justice, I went knocking on my neighbour’s door, asking them to come and take a look at it, while at the same time taking photos of the cat loitering outside and the puddle, as evidences. (Pets are to be kept indoor and not outside, according to SPCA, I called up to check last year, asking what I could do to solve this issue.) The neighbour didn’t come to take a look. What surprised me much later was that the police came knocking on my door, and I felt as if I had done something really sinful by vocalizing the urine issue, and “disturbing” my neighbour, who made a report on me. Selah.

I spent almost 2 hours resolving this with the police, and when I sat down before my laptop last week, I complained it to the first available person on msn who tried to chat to me. I got a listening ear from my niece. One thing I did notice was that the more I talked about it, the more frustrated I was. (For the last 1.5 months since I started working, I was really happy and thankful to God that I had not erupted in temper at work, a breakthrough, when a few months back, I was constantly at the brink of erupting almost every single day. This event marks the first such occurrence for a pretty long time.) For half of the next day, I was still sort of sulking over the issue, felt much injustice being done. Over lunch with a colleague, I was pondering if I should complain again about it to another person, just to get some sympathy. (Though right within my heart, I heard a very clear voice saying to me to stop talking about it and let go.) Yet, I still chose to tell my colleague, but much to my disappointment, she said I should just let go. (Because if I would to complain to SPCA, the cat might be put to sleep, which was not what I wanted to do.) Sigh, this time a totally audible voice almost jumping out of my heart, from my colleague’s mouth.

I am not taking this channel to complain about the cat incident or what, but to point out a truth, a very powerful phenomenon I noticed since, that is, when you are angry or frustrated about something, the only way out for us for not pondering on it, is to stop talking about it altogether, this is the way to let go. I realized the frustration increased as I talked about it, verbalized it. This incident brought me a few months back when I felt burn-out. I actually fell into the trap of self-pity when I vocalized my stress to my friends. The more I shared with them how I felt, the more I felt I was stressed out and burn out, and the more I felt I was doing the right thing with my lousy attitude, thinking that I deserve to behave like this. How powerful it is when we vocalized something, it seems magnified several times. This can be used for both good and bad.

If you don’t believe me, try it, talk about something you felt mistreated or angry with, see if you become less angry or actually more frustrated after talking about it. Trust me, one tends to feel worse. People who are hurt tend to repeat their stories, although many a times, they said they had already let go and forgave, yet, the fact that they were narrating their misfortune again and again actually suggest otherwise, that they have not fully let go of it, to set themselves free. The way to let go is to stop talking about it! And vice versa, talk about those things that you want to magnify, for example, our beloved Shepherd, and He surely becomes bigger in your sight! Cheers!

Architecture Reawakening

2007-12-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

I had attended one and a half day of architecture forum for the last 2 days. It is interesting to hear from different architects and what they perceive architecture as, some almost as art, a few as business, some almost humanitarian while others experimentation. A few fell into the trap of just showing the end products, while a few concentrated on their thought processes which are far more interesting. One is pessimistic about the future while another shows design as if of science fiction. I did enjoy myself in most of the lectures, except I come to one conclusion, many architects, even myself, tend to lose focus on the main reason for architecture. We spend so much time crafting our crafts, creating a work of art, indulging in the thinking process, in different methodologies, but sometimes we forget the one main agenda, “Man”.

Aren’t buildings created for humans, the most basic agenda? Even if we go to the extreme of designing a zoo or a pet house, nature tells us animals don’t need human made houses, they are more than capable to find their own shelters. Zoos, pet house, whatsoever are created for the enjoyment of “Man”. Therefore, architecture is about man, fulfilling the needs of man, more than just aesthetics, visual, though I don’t undermine the latter, yet these are by-products, in my assessment. Architecture has to revolve around the end-users, the comfort, the ability to improve the quality of human lives, and if possible touches lives, the latter being most idealistic. Whatever methodologies we employed are just means to an end, and as an architect, we should never forget the main agenda – “man”, sacrificing this aspect for aesthetic is purely pathetic and irrational. Yet when we satisfy the needs of the man, not the ego part, the likelihood of accidentally creating a piece of art that touches lives is extremely high.

I was much inspired by the presentation of the roof house in Japan. A small simple single dwelling unit, centralize around the daily living routine of a family who loves to have meals on their roof, and this thereby creating a piece of architecture that is very genuine and sincere in my recognition. To be honest, I have seen this piece of architecture before in magazine, but it never touches me until I heard the architects presenting it, seeing how the spaces are used, the engagement of the end-users with the building is what attracted me the most. Now I see this single dwelling as beautiful, a beauty that is inherent rather than visual, this is architecture with a heartbeat. I saw the same concept applied to a kindergarten by the same architects, interesting how the children love the premise, how spontaneous the children play in such an environment. I can’t say both buildings are beautiful as beautiful per se, but they sure touch me deeply, a beauty that is unseen.

Those slides I saw at the lecture that stay on my mind till now are those with people interacting with the architecture. We architects love to take photographs without human beings in them, I am guilty of this too. Yet, isn’t architecture about human beings? I repent. Architecture is more than just an artform, it is a tool of improving human lives.

Hope I didn’t bore you all with this, just a thought, to remind myself a simple truth. Just as I begin to discover in my simple Christian walk, in my many side tracks, I finally realized everything is still centralized on my dear Jesus, after running one huge circle. I would say the same for architecture, it is not just about context, methodologies, aesthetics, detailings, programme, etc, though these are important, but it is more on the “human” aspect. And as we take care of this aspect, the others are just means to an end. You can choose to differ from my thoughts, this is my blog and I have a right to say what I felt is right. Selah. My architecture reawakening.

(The above illustration is titled "Standing on His Finished Work".)

Success & Burnout

2007-11-25T19:02:00.000+08:00

It’s been quite sometime… I went through a small ordeal the last week, was it food poisoning or stomach flu, I am not sure, and I don’t care to find out more. Just knew that my body temperature went up and down and my digestive system seemed to be working at a very strange pace, I could not sleep at night, and yet too tired in the day. It was quite a bad experience, thank God for healing and that it was over. Life is slowly getting back to normal.

I was trying to finish a book and finally it was finished, not that I enjoyed it greatly, but there are surely some interesting things to learn from it. There are 2 portions where the author was talking about “success” and “burn-out”, the later was something I am interested in, since I had had a taste of it 8 months back. He said one of the things that intensifies burnout is a lack of willingness. And this willingness depends on resting, allowing our soul and our spirit to be refreshed and replenished, before we can give our all.

How true! Memory of those burnout days swept before me, I felt depressed, overworked, not restful, and most of all, unwilling to do the things I was doing, and that marked the beginning of entering that terrible few months. Now that I am at a state of being able to look back and laugh, I can understand the issues clearer, perhaps the steps to be taken to avoid falling into the same state also become clearer. Before we embark on any undertaking, surely we need a willingness to do it.

Next is about “Success”. What does each of us deem success as? Perhaps, as a student, you see it as having good results. As a working adult, when you receive your promotion and a pay rise, or being appreciated. As a parent, your children listen and obey you, and that you bring back more than enough bread for them. As a businessman, you clinched the best deal in town. Yet all the above seem so temporal and shortlived. Therefore we continue in our pursuit of what we deem success day in, day out, and we work harder and harder, rarely do we say enough is enough. We fall into the trap of getting the world’s ideas of success: fame and fortune, power and pleasure.

That perhaps was what I was pursuing unconsciously, unknowingly, slowly I was falling into the world’s system, thinking the more I achieve, the happier I would become. Selah. The book was good in this aspect, the author brought the focus back, if we are to analyse carefully, what we really want in life is contentment, fulfillment and satisfaction. This is real success.

Just sharing some thoughts, today’s writing sure sounds serious. Anyway, make a guess of the illustration above. Have a blessed, full of peace, week ahead!

A Day At A Time

2007-11-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

Yeah, it is a public holiday today! Didn't quite understand its significance for the last 6 months when I was resting as there was no difference then, until I started working again. Working life is like heaven since, and I pray it will always be, and I realise running project that is on construction actually isn't that bad, it is quite fun for the past few weeks, seeing what I designed slowly materialising, though there are many areas still need improvements, yet in the process, I learnt what to design and what not. Running a site project is more focused, doing one thing at a time, though I still love designing. Anyway, I am doing this supposedly for these few weeks only, but perhaps, I should consider doing this scope of architecture for a change, life seems less hectic and more focused. Selah. (Though I still love poring, searching and thinking over a design concept, it is like uncovering a mystery, and when you find it, there is a joy unspeakable. And I still love drawing, and drawing and drawing plans, imagining spaces, visualising how it looks like in my mind.) Yet, my Shepherd knows what is best for me, live and enjoy a day at a time.

Didn't have much to write for now, learning to talk less, hear more, just felt that I should upload the illustration, so here is the "Dancing on the keyboard" cartoon for this week. It was completed quite a while back, somehow it has a very "Christmasy" feel to it. Praise the Lord, Christmas is just round the corner, and I am really excited about it! Time for Christmas shopping again!

Right Place Right Time

2007-11-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

Today a most appropriate incident to describe as "at the right place at the right time" happened to me, I was almost "in tears" when it happened, which I would want to record it down for future reference. Today, as per normal (for the past 2 weeks), I knocked off on the dot, and headed to take a train home. There was a faulty line from City Hall station to Marina Bay station, and the north bound train platform was swarming with people, I had a huge shock when I saw the crowd. Wanted very much to get a seat and read in the train, I would sometime take the train that is Marina Bay bound (south bound and then loop back to north bound), which would take me an extra 10 to 15 minutes to reach home, but it does not really matter as compared to having a seat to rest.

Realizing my hope was dashed when the announcement said that the next train going to Marina Bay station will take an hour to resume service, and right before my eyes, the north bound train platform was of an unsual huge crowd, I decided to take the west bound train to Raffles Place, hopefully I could at least get up the north bound train, at an earlier station before City Hall. Upon reaching there, the crowd was almost as large as the City Hall's crowd, standing right outside the gates waiting for the north bound train, and I have almost no chance to go any where near the gates, therefore I ended up standing near opposite (the east bound) gates instead. Just as my heart was about to feel disheartened, the most miraculous thing happened. An announcement pronouncing that the train at the east bound gate (the door was widely open, and the train totally empty) was leaving for Jurong East via Woodlands (going north bound). I could hardly believe what I heard. This had never happened to me in my many years of train taking experiences before! I got in, grabbed a seat, and got my little dream answered right at that moment. I felt I was literally being at the right place at the right time! People standing at the "rightful" gates came rushing in, but only manage to get standing spaces. Not to mention people at City Hall can hardly get into the train.

At that instance, seated at my miraculous seat, I felt loved, privileged. The beautiful confession came right into my heart at that very moment, "indeed I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus". I was almost touched to tears at that very instance, thank You Daddy God. Right place right time.

Lala Land

2007-10-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

I am still in a state of living in Lala Land for the past week, working seems so surreal, working life for me seems to have a180-degree turn from the past too, may it continue to be so... but I cannot further elaborate.

I met a few very interesting people for the last few weeks and cause me thinking. The first was my hair stylist, he finally started out on his own with his wife in a neighbourhood salon. Small and not as posh as where he is working, but there is a sparkle in his eyes when he talks about it, when he is working in it, it is like a dream that he cherished for years has finally come to past, and his joy rubs off on me. I am really happy for him. Though he worked 7 days a week with no rest, yet he said he loves it and is going to at least gives his dream a try while he is still young, I admire his courage.

The next is a gardener I met when I went to site. He was alone watering the roof top garden when I went to take a look. And he told me before I came, he was alone with God, taking care of God's creation, I see a joy in his eyes, insignificant perhaps to many people of the task he is doing, yet he takes pride in it and is happy.

The third person I met a few days ago was an old university schoolmate, I visited his office, where he started out on his own, a one-man office, working 7 days a week, sleeping perhaps 5 hours a day. I asked him if he is tired and why work so hard? Yet, he displayed no tiredness or frustration, but the same sparkle in the eyes appears. He went on to show us his work, his handmade little models, his funny little stories with his clients, again his joy rubs off on me and I am really happy for him.

I saw on TV the making of Rainie's latest album a few days ago. I am not a fan of hers, but I can see the hard work, the long hours put in, but yet they enjoyed it tremendously and the pride they had working on it. I also have a friend who once told me she cannot imagine doing any other thing except what she is doing now and she is very thankful that she is able to do what she likes, despite of little sleep and even rushing over weekends.

So I pondered. Was it our attitude towards what we do that causes us to be joyful, I think I should be quite close to the answer. Perhaps this could be the answer to my frustration in the past, I might not have understood how to enjoy the moment in the past, my everyday endeavour then was always to finish my task, thinking then I would be happy once I finished it, postponing my joy to the future rather than enjoying the moment. I still cannot totally understand why there are people who can be so happy in what they are doing despite working so hard, with such long hours, but I am beginning to see a bit of light. My Shepherd works really long hours too, as He would retreat to the mountain late at night to pray after He sent His disciples and the people off. (Though I still do not like working long hours, haha.) Only my Shepherd can change my attitude towards life, to learn to enjoy the process, enjoy life, enjoy the tasks the Lord has given (with no long hours).

Hope you like the above illustration, this was inspired by the Taiwanese drama "Corner With Love", copied a little of it. Cheers, yes to another lazy week ahead!

Interestingly

2007-10-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

I was awakened by my alarm clock at 7am, and in that twilight zone between consciousness and unconsciousness, I thought it was weekday, time to awake to go to work, before it finally dawned on me it is a Saturday, after I tried recalling what was yesterday. I suddenly realised how ingrained my habit of not being mindful of time must have been as there was no more difference to me between weekdays and weekends for the past 6 months, except perhaps Sunday when I tried to wake up slightly earlier to get ready for Church. Amazing! I was still in unbelief this morning!

Thanks to all the friends and dear family that smsed me or left me emails and messages of encouragement, with prayers for my new day at work. One dear friend even took upon herself to be my alarm clock, sending me a morning call at 7am, thanks dear, so touched! Those are great reminders that I am deeply loved, not just by my Daddy God but family and friends, thanks to you all, you know who you are, and you all are expressions of my Shepherd's love for me. Cheers.

It is good to start work on a Thursday, because before I knew it, here comes Saturday, and I love weekends! It was quite a strange experience for the past 2 days, boss was not around, almost hardly anyone knew I was supposed to be back to work except my team mates (happy to be of low profile, yet a bit "sad" cos the equipments necessary for work was not even in place, but then it also means I don't need to really start working yet, haha, silent laughter). The funniest or almost deja vu thing is, I went back to the exact seat I was seated previously, I could hardly believe it myself till now, even though my boss did briefly mention that to me. It only registered in my mind the moment I sat down, and all those flashes of the past flooded me right before my eyes. (Somehow this blog today sounds very poetic.) Past projects that I left off undone slowly come back visibly before me... Selah... (This pause is extremely important, cos it means time to have a deep conversation with God... ) Fleeting thoughts of those "scary" last few months seemed to reenact right before me. Selah.

Just then, another dear boss whom I also worked with came and welcome me, it was a mixed feeling... on the one hand, I was quite touched, yet on the other, I was at a great dilemma, I was and am still hoping that I can make a clean break with some of those projects I used to do... Yet his kindness towards me may cause me to again of not knowing how to say no... Selah. I need God's wisdom and grace for this. Interestingly, my first 2 days at work seem quite a good start, I knocked off almost exactly on the dot, no need OT, but lots of reading to do... God is faithful.

Despite of it all, and all that I mentioned above, strange to say, I was and am so very at peace, even now as I write, this past 6-month of rest did have a great effect on me afterall. In the past, I might have been deeply troubled, or flared up silently within (oxy-moron scenario). Yet, strange to me now, I was pretty happy, joyful and still laughing at what was going on around me, still in a state of Lala Land. Selah. Thank You Daddy God, for somehow somewhat I knew He is still in control and things will turn around. I have learnt a little since, my provision does not come from the job I hold but from my Daddy God who loves me with an everlasting love, for I neither lack nor hunger for the past 6 months, moreover, I even went for holidays, did quite a bit of shopping (but at a more self-controlled manner), still have good meals, movies etc. Amazing.

As predicted, some still asked me why did I return? I thought perhaps I should settle this once and for all here, I return not because there are no new open doors, my Daddy God has never failed me, I was spoilt for choices. I return cos I just felt like returning in my heart, there is no reason other than that. I am not one who weighs pros and cons, I don't know how to make decision by pros and cons... I made decision in life with how I feel with my heart most of the time, and when moments friends see me indecisive, is because my heart is also unsure and no clear direction is visible, that is why. No reason, just follow my heart, and even if at the end of it all, I may have seemed to make a wrong move, I am still not afraid, He is always with me! Cheers.

Hope you like the above answer to last week illustration, the beloved lamb asleep in His presence, knowing all is well. I like the above illustration more than the one below.

The End Of My Long Vacation

2007-10-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow marks the last day of my long vacation. (I have actually extended it for a few more days.) For the last few days, perhaps unconsciously, I was trying to squeeze in as many activities as I can, especially those that I wanted to do before I enter into a normal working life again, and trying to move towards a "nap-less" daily routine slowly. It is not easy though.

I had a few very relaxed days with a friend at a resort, to the extend of almost doing nothing. I had finally today fulfilled my promise to my nephew of a visit to the History Museum. (I am really tired, looking after 2 boys isn't that easy actually...) I am still reading those books I had bought recently, I doubt I can finish them all by tomorrow (a few of them are really good though, can't bear to finish them so fast). Still have a painting I wanted to paint but has yet started... Our Seven By Five website to update but yet to find time... Hoping to bring my mom for a holiday but yet able to get her to agree to go... Many dvds that I bought but yet to watch them... Still, it is time to work, for what I initially wanted to have was a 2-month break but now it has extended to a 6-month long break instead.

I can foresee that it is going to take me quite a while before I can get used to working again, after all, it has been 6 months since I last worked. Perhaps the most challenging part would be to wake up at 7am daily, to have dinner later in the night, to change my routine lunch porridge diet back to rice or noodle, to concentrate in doing one thing for a long period without any nap in between, etc. Next perhaps will be those "does not matter" people who will "bombard" me with endless questions of why I am returning to work, and what I have been doing for the past 6 months... Perhaps I should also come up with a perfect answer now to meet the demand... (just a joke, I pray this will not have to happen.) In fact, this was not in my consideration when I made my decision to return, yet now it has slowly come back to "haunt" me. Anyway, my Shepherd will answer them all. But still, dear friend (you know who you are), why do the firm you join need no OT? That is so unlike architectural firm! Come on, there must be something they are doing right, do let me know, I want to learn and implement... Miracles do happen and will also happen in my case. Selah.

Not sure what to write, cos having quite a mixed feeling now, wanted to rest more yet on the other hand, I do feel a little excited to start working again, and at a slower pace as agreed, praise the Lord!

Guess what the above silhouette is about? Will reveal the truth next week! My Daddy God is so good and my Shepherd, He never leaves me! Cheers!

My Loving Mom

2007-10-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

The above illustration is the answer to last week's silhouette. I still prefer the effect of the silhouette, so calm and yet contrasting. I am dreaming of compiling this series of silhouettes and put them one page after another in a book, it sure will be fun... just a thought, just another dream for the future.

I am going for a short retreat with my friend this week, the above illustration has really come to pass, amazing... (Think it will happen, so long as I go and pay up tomorrow, everything will be confirmed...) This would be the first time I am going holiday with my long time friend... We are sure going to have a good time... talking... walking around... reading... fellowship... Praise the Lord! It is good to end this 6-month long break with a retreat... (perhaps 7-month long would be better?)

How strange I started off this week with "Monday Blues" despite of the fact that I have yet started work. My mind is again working extra hard... worrying... I am again procrastinating, perhaps I should rest and play for another 2 weeks? (Even to the extent of pushing it till next year...) I am just a step away from asking for permission to do that when I voiced my idea to my mom this morning, and for the first time, she actually said the longer I rest, the lazier I would become... Despite the fact that she is always very supportive of me... I guess she cannot stand it anymore, thinking that I have rested enough? Sigh... She is going to miss cooking and having lunch with me for sure... very soon...

For the last 6 months, I am really thankful to Daddy God that I have finally spent some quality time with my mom, we have breakfast, lunch and dinner almost everyday of my long vacation (actually about 75% of the time). I know her daily routine so well now. I know when she will be back from market, what time she will prepare lunch and dinner, what is her favourite afternoon TV programmes, what time she goes to church every Wednesday. I see her thriftiness on herself, but spoiling me with wonderful breakfast, delicious home cooked lunch, and prepared-with-love salad dinner. I see her always concerned about the wet clothes not able to dry if there is a weather change, what she has been reading in the bible recently, what she would use to carry the grocery from the supermarket, her red trolley... etc etc...

A Mother's love, is always amazing, and is expressed through the little actions and thoughts... always selfless, and all for the children... Our Daddy God's love's the same...actually much more!

Sleep

2007-10-01T14:10:00.000+08:00

I am ending my 6 months long vacation in 2 weeks’ time, how fast time flies! I can’t remember the last time I had such a long rest since I started going to school. I had not even dare to dream of taking a 3 months break before, not to mention half a year, and yet, unknowingly, I have done so, and enjoyed it greatly.

There were occasional fear, housing loan, bills, my love for shopping, etc that will crept in suddenly and caught me worrying in the past few months. Yet all this while, I lack nothing. Occasional voices of self-condemned will arise, asking myself what I am doing, drawing, resting, reading, holidaying, sleeping… every such activity in itself is without fault, but when one is not strong, one may fall into condemnation, seeing oneself as not being responsible, and short of an answer to give those who asked me what I am doing. Yet, thanks to Daddy God, this did not happen very often, for this much needed rest is so so GOOD! Even now I am already procrastinating on the date I set to start work!

I did things I did not have time in the past for and enjoyed myself so much, yet if one is to ask me what I have accomplished, I have nothing to boast, as I can’t really put a clear list up, though one thing I know, I finally saw my priority in life, it takes me so long to discover, and only discovered it recently, at the end of this long vacation… I thought I knew it along, but little did I know, I only know it in the head and not in my heart. I relished and cherished every waking moments these days, nothing matters more than the one thing, enjoy my Shepherd. I have 2 weeks left, and I have already laid out plans on how to use them… perhaps the BESTEST thing I ever did this 6 months, read, read, read! I had so much fun the last 2 weeks doing just that!

Today, I read a wonderful article by Yeomans, “He Giveth His beloved Sleep”. When I was working, I hardly find time to catch naps in the afternoon, not even during weekend, as I considered it very wasteful to be spent on such “inactivity” activity. There were also times I felt terrible about napping during a precious weekend, in short, I am a person who does not know how to rest. During these 6 months, I napped quite a bit in between activities, yet there are still occasional moments I felt bad for “wasting” time like this. However, one thing I know, I hardly have problem sleeping, except a few months back when I was worried about my work. Indeed, I am very blessed always with good sleep.

Why did I mention that article then? It cast a ray of light suddenly on me today, not that I never read and study this verse before “He giveth His beloved sleep”, just that I never saw it in this light before. His sleep is a gift to one who is His beloved, and the fact that one can sleep is a sign that that person is His beloved, the one whom He loved dearly. I just woke up from a quick nap after a morning of reading, and I continued with my reading with this beautiful chapter by Yeomans, and suddenly, I am caught by the fact that I must be so loved, cos I can sleep so easily and I had just received a gift of sleep a while ago… got my drift? (Of course, everything need a balance, I do not mean you sleep all day and do nothing, as Solomon said, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands …so shall your poverty…)

Anyway, He giveth His beloved sleep! I pray that everyday as you awake from your sweet sleep in the morning, know that you have just received a gift from your Shepherd, and with this gift, He is telling you that you are His beloved, cheers!

(PS. I love the contrast in the silhouette, I love the beautiful sunset, I like this illustration, hope you too!)

Silhouette of the Peak

2007-09-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

I delayed a little for this posting, as last week was a great time spent in "resting", a much needed indulgence for these 2-3 weeks before working again. The above sketch was done quite some time ago, but I have yet found time to sit down and coloured it, so here it is finally. A dream concept that I have been thinking on and off for the past few weeks, since I did the illustration for 2nd Sept. This concept of "Silhouette" came as a result of my "struggle" when I did that illustration, as in my heart I wanted to add in the Shepherd, however, at the same time, I wanted it to be subtle. As I was "meditating" on the execution of it, it suddenly dawn on me, this is it, "Silhouette"! These coming weeks will show me working on this concept, hope you enjoy it. Only for this week, I will post both the "perceived" and the "truth" together.

In life, many of us only "see" what we can see or know through our 5 senses, our "Sense Knowledge". Yet, many a times what actually has happened may not be perceivable with our senses. As a result, many become dishearted, as what is perceived seems to be more real than what is the truth. This is what I wanted to convey with this series of illustrations, the subtlety of this in life, and how many of us gave up halfway through the journey when we can only see the "perceived". Despite of it all, whatever the situation we may be in, we can have complete confidence in His Word that changes not, for the Word that speaks of the love our Shepherd expressed through His sacrifice, as nothing is as sure as His Word. Cheers!

Swaying No More

2007-09-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

I have been pretty busy since I came back from my holiday despite of the fact that I am not working, that explains the slight delay in the posting, though I have done quite a few sketches, but I have yet find time to add colours to them. So what have I been doing?

Studying with my nephew for his PSLE, and realised my English is terrible. Coaching another nephew in Maths and I became so mad with him I gave up. Selah. Patience, patience, and that the Lord will show him my heart, and give him the vision of what he can actually become, not just a living creature, but a wonderfully made gifted human being! Selah, only God can.

I have finally finished compiling my comics and printed the final draft, perhaps just a brief mention of it here. For the past few months, I finally sat down to compile all those sheep illustrations I did for the last few years, not all are used, but a great majority of them. Perhaps to many of you who read this or drop by this site know, sheep seems to be a dear topic to me in all my illustrations, indeed it is, perhaps unknown to most of my friends, but it actually has become so much of my imagination, I see sheep when I imagine, so often, and the idea of the Shepherd and the sheep, and sheep with other sheep means a great deal to me, though some of you may be bored by the same old theme and style. But if Mickey Mouse can go on for decades, I don't see why I should change the character, after all, Psalm 23 is one of my favourite.

All throughout the last few months, the above illustration explains what took place at times. There are moments I would be asking myself what I was doing, sitting in front of my laptop day after day, touching up my comics, adding text to it, compiling them into a booklet. Times I would be asking, am I sure this is going to succeed? Who would be interested in buying such thing anyway? I would start wondering if I was "crazy" to venture into this, spending months working on this, losing on precious stable income. I would start to compare my product with others, and ponder, mine does not look as outstanding, and as skillfully drawn and coloured as others. Yet every single piece tells a story, a moment in my life that I went through, it is a pictorial diary to me.

Then there will be occasional heart-warming friends who would drop by with a note saying that they loved the sheep series, or enjoyed them and gave me a little strength to continue doing. There were also times that my Shepherd seemed to assure me to just do what I want to do, move on with the dream, do not need to worry about daily living for a while, and indeed he has provided for me faithfully. Now, I can finally say I have concluded the job I set out to do, and I am going to take the next step, favour and grace, to send it out! Come on, at least I tried, at least I am one step closer to a dream, at least it is closer to reality than just continuing to remain a dream in my heart. I am excited and glad and fulfilled. Keep me in prayer! It is an exciting journey. Indeed my Shepherd will take care of it, for He who has begun a good work in my life will surely complete it, man! Cheers!

A Trip To Learn

2007-09-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

I am back! Despite the fact that I had my laptop with me, I did not manage to find time to blog, perhaps I was too tired, plus I did not have internet access all the time. The weather was hot, I am so dark now that I intend to stay indoor as much as I can to regain some degree of "fairness" to my skin. It was a trip to think through some things, but strange how it turns out, though I enjoyed it tremendously. I would attempt to summarise it into 2 aspects, almost like "enlightenment" to me.

On the more spiritual aspect, we went to perhaps the largest church in the world, of about 1 million members, do correct me if I am wrong. Till now, I am still very amazed at what I saw, how God can use a man, who obeys Him, and work through him, bringing to fruition what seems impossibilities to me. This church has its own newspapers that report good news (4th most widely read papers in the country), an university, its own prayer mountain that looks a bit like a resort, a training centre that imparts skills to youths, and at the same time provide accommodation to elderly people who also act as guardians for these youths, all for free. I am simply amazed, all those idealogies I have heard, or even dreamt about while doing my architectural thesis, etc, have actually been realised in real life! We indeed have a mighty Daddy God, it is just whether we dare to take Him for His word without doubting and depend on Him and just do it! Till now, I am still very amazed. Daddy God can use a yielded person to perform such unfathomable deeds, amazing, all glory to Him!

We spent 2 days on the prayer mountain, with me having the intention to sort out some thoughts. Simple as it sounds, the answer was so simple, to see Jesus in every situation, just that, spending time with Him. The problem does not seem to have disappeared in real life, but somehow, everything looks so insignificant after that, cos knowing Someone who loves me so much to give His all for me, what are all these little things. I am still amazed at it, my worries all of a sudden seem to disappear, I seem to be able to "let not my heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid", and caught a little light of how this is possible, surely if Jesus said so, it must be possible. This is only possible by seeing Jesus.

On the intellectual aspect, I had a good time looking at the art scene in Seoul and am most impressed by the Art Valley at Heyri. I enjoyed looking at the exciting architecture, definitely must go back again to finish it, guess we only managed to finish about one third of it. I loved the short simple walk along Cheong Gye Cheon Stream, it is a beautiful touch to the masterplanning of Seoul, providing a place of refuge, reminiscent of the effect of Central Park in New York. Looking at the museums and interesting buildings, I felt a sudden "reborn and zeal" for architecture again, something that I may have lost along the way during the past few years. There were times while looking at some of those buildings, I wish I can do something like that.

Many thoughts, many, too much to be written down in this journal. One that I remembered, was about a month or two ago, I was looking at a Japanese drama, when I caught a scene of a modern wind mill, and i was wondering to myself perhaps someday I will get to see one in real life, and who would know I really get to see one just 2 months down the road. My Daddy God hears my every whisper. Too many things to write... I had a good time, time spent in looking at Him, time spent in arousing a passion, time spent learning to be humble and learn from others, their art and architecture, so much I received, all thanks to Daddy God, so much!

P/S The above illustration is what the 3 of us encountered in Jeju-do when we try to climb up to Sunrise Peak. It was pretty tough, but I enjoyed it.

Long Vacation

2007-08-20T12:29:00.000+08:00

Today's journal is named after a Japanese series "Long Vacation" I watched a few years ago, my friend's favourite drama, about a pianist (a prodigy) who took a while to stand up on his feet to play the piano again. Not that I am a prodigy, I am far from it, just felt like I am in the midst of a long vacation though, which was what I was dreaming of doing last year while working, it was a dream then, not even sure if I am bold enough to really go for several months without pay. Then, I was just entertaining thoughts of perhaps a break from work for 2 months, but now it seems it will be for 5-6 months, living off my savings and occasional pays that seem to fall from heaven when I needed them, my Daddy God is ever so faithful.

I am going for my holiday today! (Another holiday in my long holiday?) Flying off tonight alone, yet once again… Thank God, that I am meeting my friends there, who had left for the destination 2 days ago. Just pray that I will find my way to the hotel in the wee hours of the early morning tomorrow, need great wisdom for language is truly a big problem. It was not a planned holiday, I decided to join my friends about 2 weeks ago, almost at the very last minute, and not even sure if I could get an air ticket then, this perhaps is an unconscious effort of my mind to put off working for yet a few more weeks? I ponder.

Not exactly knowing the itinerary of the trip, I just wanted to get away for a short while, or at least play a little more, before life is back to routine, sleep-eat-work …sleep-eat-work… I must have made life sounded a bit pathetic, of course life is more than just these, I am just exaggerating. Even if it is a routine, so long as one is happy and fulfilled, that matters.

As for the task I set out to do during these few months of “not working” (for someone else), is still not completed, will complete it once I am back, need grace, great great favour for this, a step closer to my dream… My childhood dream, a lady now already in her adulthood, is still dreaming of what she dreamt to do when she was a kid… Selah. Crazy as it sounded, I was even entertaining the thought of going for further studies, but this is just a fleeting thought.

As the day of routine draws nearer, irrational as it sounds, those quite “stressful” working days seem to come back to me for the past few days, this is truly battle in the mind. How true it is, that one can be in a state of physical rest and the mind is perpetually working. This is called “worry”, a hateful word. Peace, be still! “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you, not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

I will have a safe journey indeed for my Shepherd is with me. I quite like flying alone (but with my Shepherd of course) on the plane, those hours of solitude, where there is nothing much you can do but to read, draw, listen and sleep, cos there is no one who knows me on the plane with me. I will take this holiday to draw a little, shop a little, sightseeing, and learn more from what others have done, may this trip be an eye-opener, a great time of catching up with old friends, and most of all, a time to spend with my Shepherd. See you all back home in 2 weeks' time! Will write and draw from South Korea! Seoul here I come!

Starting Afresh

2007-08-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

Starting life afresh! Want to learn to put the past behind. And we all must do that and move on. It’s been a year since, how fast time flies. I believe occasionally the few of us may still condemn ourselves for not being able to help when she was in trouble, for not being able to listen to her struggle and know her cry during that difficult period in her life, for not being able to be with her. A few may still silently shed tears, after all, we are really good friends. However, it has already been a year, I believe it is time to close this chapter and put it aside completely, never again shed any tears on this matter anymore, this applies to my dear friends and myself. Let’s put this aside after this coming Saturday, for this is only temporary separation.

It’s been quite a crazy week. I felt I had enough of deciding which direction to turn for the last few weeks, and I finally decided to make a decision on Sunday, so that I can move on to do other things, rather than going from one interview to another, it is a tiring process on the mind, trying to decide which door to enter, that I chose to sleep and keep pushing the dateline of making any decision. Yet, even after making up my mind on Sunday, to be honest, I am still wondering, am I ‘crazy’ to make the decision I made? It seems a harder path that I have chosen now than to go to new places to me at times…sigh…Lord help me… Anyway, I am choosing escapism again… so this is what I am going to do, run away for a short holiday, and I pray my mind and heart is clearer after that. Selah, and grace upon grace!

Somehow, it seems whichever decision I made I will still feel this way, a bit lost, a bit unsure… I can only rely on my Shepherd to lead me, He will definitely bail me out even if I make a wrong decision this time, and this will be the last try, and yet not a try, but definitely need to learn to rely completely on His grace. I need to learn to trust my Shepherd completely, to turn away from my own self-achievement, to learn not being so serious and harsh with myself, to learn to really say “no” when occasion calls for it, but most of all, to always look to Him for solutions and not to man, not even myself. To be honest, I can't believe that I was actually burnt-out while working, how could I possibly go through this? (The self-righteous lamb speaking here!) I thought I was cool, well-organised, always on time, one who can plan my time so well, and yet I was burnt out still? I was in disbelief and unbelief, how could it happen? This happens when we lose sight of Him. Selah.

My decision has gotten me some scoldings, as most close ones actually advised me otherwise, yet I am still persisting this way, sometimes I do still wonder why… God’s mercy and grace… May You turn all things around for my good, because I am Your beloved child. Today’s blog is from one who sounds a bit “confused” even after making a decision, (thought I will be clearer after that), pardon me… I just need time to let my mind rest and let my heart speaks… no worry. Cheers!

Falling into His arms

2007-08-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

Falling into the arms of our Shepherd is the illustration for today. I caught an image of this on Thursday while at a service. Despite of how we fail, or miss the mark, beneath is always the everlasting arms of our Shepherd to catch us when we fall, such is the assurance and the hope. I again realise the beauty of simplicity, relooking at the beautiful gospel story, I am still unfolding.

These few months I begin to see a bit of light in some areas, how many of my worries I have in life came as a result of being introspective, the latter is a hyper scary attitude towards our mental well-being. It is so easy to fall into this state when we lose our focus on our Shepherd. That is also how worry begins, it starts in the mind, we turn the situation in every which way, figuring the cause and effect, imagining different possible scenarios, we meditate on it, sleep on it, bring it wherever we go, nurse it, water it, give it time to grow, and as it becomes healthier, we become weaker or may even turn "insane". We start to see our inadequacy, our inability to solve it, which is true, but it is all about "I". It is time to just give up and look up, for Help is waiting to help, but Help simply cannot get a hold of the situation while we are still holding tightly to it. This is what I have been struggling, sometimes and some areas seem more intense. Let not my heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. This is so difficult even, God help me!

I am finally going to embark on my 2nd phase of editing of my cartoon collection this coming week, thanks B, for all the help rendered, I really appreciate it with all my heart, knowing how busy you are, having to cope with work, study, attachment, spending times with loved ones, plus lending me a hand to edit my stuff. And thanks to my sister, your mom too! I am excited about this little venture, though i really do not know where this is leading me, but I am glad that I finally put aside other things to find time to do this little dream venture.

And lastly, really appreciate everyone that expresses their support for our website, some post it on their msns, some express via email replies, some actually become our first clients. And most of all, thank You my Shepherd for leading us thus far, You who begins a good work will surely complete it! Thanks! It is none of us, but all of Christ, and Him only!

Cravings

2007-07-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

I have some crazy cravings these past couple of weeks, that explains the above illustration. There was a season of craving for durians, then the donuts from Donut Factory, at times sweet potato soup, and bo bo cha cha (coconut made dessert). Perhaps I am really so free these days that I can start feeding my changing appetites? Guess it is also time to go back to work as I still want to remain trim and thin, instead of constantly satisfying my physical "hunger". Selah.

Having finally launched "www.sevenbyfive.sg" it is as if a little dream fulfilled. Though there are a few times since, that I wish if only I knew how to do this, or do that, I would have improved it better... Perhaps a little impetus thought of going for a formal course in web design did cross my mind, though I am quite sure this is not going to change my career path, but just wanting to learn something new, that's all. Yet, I still enjoy the process of "self-discovery", testing out on my own, and the joy of discovery new methods of doing things, even though this is a more tedious process.

Taking a full week to decide the next step, didn't really change anything it seems, and I really have to step out in faith, trusting the Lord to hold unto me as I move forward. This is not easy, starting out afresh, taking a step at a time. For the past 3 months, I have heard perhaps close to 10 persons, coming to me and saying that I look better now, as one who has less stress as compared to a few months back. I didn't know that taking such a rest could have such a great impact on how I look. I did have a good rest, though not really adventurous, as in going holidays, but it is so unlike the past, for a whole 2 months, I do not have to rush anything, meet any datelines, or seek anyone's approval. Perhaps the only pressure I felt was self-imposed, "so when am I ready to start working?" It is like those old Disney's cartoon, with the angel and the devil popped up on the left and right of Donald Duck, I almost wanted to draw this for today. On one occasion, I felt I should work, on another, I think maybe I rest for another week... Sounds familiar?

This is like a little war going on in the mind. Wondering if life will take on a similar hectic schedule like the past, would I still be "stressed-out" or "burnt-out" again? Can I do something different this time round? Would I have the opportunity to design something different? This is what went through my mind, no answer to them and it is all about "I", "me" and "myself" if you noticed. This really sounds faithless, when one starts turning inwards instead of looking at the Shepherd, almost losing sight of the One who holds my future. Stress and fear come along when I lose sight of my Shepherd. May I be reminded again and again of this when I embark on the next step.

Today I have launched another blog "Baa & Meow" at www.baa-meow.blogspot.com. I have mentioned of doing this a few months back. This one will take on a more pictorial form, less word, moving towards more comic strip format, and I have created Little Lamb generation 2 to match the Cat I designed earlier. No funny strip for this week yet, just the introduction, and I need to think through and be inspired a little. Hopefully my neighbour's cat will provoke/inspire me in the following week.

So, keep one another in prayer, not sure what to pray? Just pray in the spirit for me then. Jesus loves you all!

www.sevenbyfive.sg

2007-07-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

Why a blog posting in the middle of the week? Because today we finally, officially launch our website www.sevenbyfive.sg. With its beautiful date 25 July 2007, a number easy to remember with the name of the site. It is my first humble attempt to design and create a website, not exactly very user friendly yet, still improving, but has finally fulfilled one desire of mine to pick up this skill, a desire 4 years ago.

This site is created out of a love for arts and design, and consists of the 5 of us, 2 artists, one producer, who is presently very busy with her job, and 2 architects, one of which is me. So do drop by our website to take a look at our gallery/photography, our little virtual shop, not really meant to make big bucks, but if it happens, all glory to Jesus. The price of things may seem to be on the high side, but we have to cover the material and delivery costs... plus we really handmade the stuff, personalised arts, and not mass produce... therefore this explains why. And by the way, we are not a firm, we merely just want to do some fun stuffs together, that's all.

So today's blog is just to keep a record of the special day and do some publicity on the new website, do drop by when free, we will try to update it regularly with new art works and news! Cheers, may our Shepherd bless our website!

Durian Durian

2007-07-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

Not sure why I have been wanting to eat durians these past few weeks, though I didn't really eat a lot, perhaps just ate once. This may explain the above illustration, just for joke, no criticism for the building at all. Hope you catch it. Anyway, more durian illustration to come in the next week.

Life takes on a slow, steady and homely state for me for the past few weeks. There were days when I would stroll to our nearby neighbourhood town centre for a walk with my mom during lunch, and we would detour to the durian stall to see people standing around, smelling, shaking the durians, to choose what they deemed to be good ones. We didn't buy any, but the joy of just looking at this thrilled me a lot. As I beheld them, I saw the simplicity of life, simple pleasure, simple things. I relished in them, strange, for several years, I actually was too busy to indulge myself in such activities, which seemed a waste of time, sounded so sad indeed.

I declined a work opportunity that I applied for, not sure why, just didn't feel it is right, it could be just my own feeling anyway. Am I too choosy? Someone suggested that, perhaps I am. Yet I am still at a crossroad, and I have decided to stand at that junction for a few days more. Thank God, sometimes the most unlikely person says the most heartwarming thing. My sis unknowingly was talking to me about taking this break to decide whether to move in the same direction, or choose a greater challenge or find a easier, more relax working environment for the next step instead of hurrying. This was precisely what I could not decide now. More challenging job? Less taxing working environment? Another direction?

It has been 3 months since, not that I didn't feel the pressure of not working, I do, I felt I should, as a responsible adult, yet at the same time, I am still quite "disillusioned?" Architecture architecture architecture... So I delayed again, or rather, has to start all over again, has to read and see where I would want to apply again. Hopefully I will send out some letters soon, hopefully... pressing the "send" button is not as easy as I thought it to be after all. Cheers... sheer indulgence... My Shepherd is still in charge!

"Siansation"

2007-07-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

Wednesday 11 July
Not sure why I felt so sian today (sian = bored, empty)… felt so empty and lost… I went for an interview finally after resting for the past 2 months (or was it 3?), I decided to start afresh, start working again. It was not that the interview did not go well, in fact, it went pretty well. Yet, why do I feel so disillusioned… Selah. Kept asking myself, is this what I really want to do? I am really not sure… Keep me in prayer.

Friday 13 July
It has been a thinking week for me. Felt as if I am standing at a crossroad. Felt exhausted, and therefore I took several naps to stop thinking... “Escapism”. Yet I know, He will surely show me the way. Interesting fact was that, today as I stepped into a particular place for yet another interview, I desire one day I get a chance to design something of that nature rather than working in that environment, in that split second, I seem to see a little bit of what I hope to do… a little light dawns… There is really so much I wish to learn, want to learn, hungry to learn…

Sunday…Monday
The above illustration (part 1) was drawn in my mind last week before an interview. Part 2 was drawn after the interview, though I still didn’t know which way to turn, but I know for sure My Shepherd knows which way. It is really time to start working… Lord, remove the “siansation” from me! And show me the way.

And please do not allow me to be a bad influence by the above blog title, it is still going to be a great and wonderful week ahead for us because our Shepherd is leading us!

2007-07-07T22:56:00.001+08:00

It is a beautiful date today 070707, perfection! Strange and coincidental as it sounded, we arranged to meet up after 7 years of graduating from architecture today for a few old classmates. Meeting up and realised, some have changed line, some are still in the same field, but one thing I am really curious is, do all still share the same passion as before, or have decreased or increased.
I have finally finished the first draft of what I set out to do for the last 2 months, done my first own pictorial editing, now it is in the safe hands of my niece to edit the text. Missy, feel free to be really critical about it, as if you are a reader and not someone who is acquainted with me, k? And tell me the truth, I can take it and improve on it! Guess I at least took a first step towards a dream… took me almost a month to compile… Guess to draw another one will take me another 2 years, I suppose? Will start on that when I finally start working in the real world again, that will be my pastime hobby.

Before getting back to the draft again for 2nd editing, I finally moved on to start doing something else, actually it is learning something new. Trying to master two softwares for the last 4 days simultaneously was really quite a struggle, though it was fun and challenging. I just could not help myself, almost the 2nd thing I did every morning after I woke up is to switch on my laptop and start experimenting, and trying out again and again, to see if there are alternatives to achieving what I wanted to do. Yet not being versed in them, I felt somehow handicapped, and I really need wisdom from above. Grace, grace.

So as one can see, I hardly have time to sleep, as my mind is working on duo processors, I didn’t draw anything for this week, as I have been so occupied with all the learning, not to mention attending seminar to earn points to renew my practicing license for next year. Therefore posted above is a very old painting I did in year 1999, theme “people”. I hope perhaps next week I would finally sit down to draw another comic ( have one funny architecture comic boiling in my head, just no time to draw it out). As for that dear friend of mine who mentioned she prefers my architecture series, hmmm… I am still not going towards that direction, as I still prefer to use art as a mean of expressing a feeling, a heartfelt gratitude, or a tool to encourage someone, rather than a weapon for satire and criticism… And one thing I am sure, I still love architecture… I just hope no one will do the same to my design in future, selah, so I will be merciful here.

What Am I Up To?

2007-06-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

I have often been asked what have I been doing lately since I stopped working. Recently, I have adopted a simplified standard answer and it helps, no further questioning, my answer is “painting/doing art”. (Someone actually thought I meant painting my house?) To strictly say that I am painting is not fully right, though I must clarify I am not lying as well. I have really started painting again after 7 years.

Yet painting is not the complete truth. So now I am attempting to answer this once and for all, and if anyone asked me again, perhaps I shall give them a card with the link to this website, and ask them to read for themselves? (just a joke)

I did some designs initially, architecture per se, followed by graphics, went for a short business/travel trip. Since then, I started painting, editing a short little children’s story of mine, which is still far from good as my English has always been terrible. Hasn’t fully started on its illustrations yet, as I am still waiting for the inspiration, though some research has been done. This expedition seems daunting to me now, and may likely take another one to two years to complete, especially when I start working again.

I have finally started to compile all my little cartoons, hopefully into a booklet. As the days flew, the task seems more and more immense, though the amount of work completed has increased. The very first draft shall be ready soon, I hope, though it is still far from perfect, but to me it is at least a first step towards a little dream. When asked by closer friends, and told them I am compiling a little book, some commented I am really brave to do such a thing. (Perhaps silently they are thinking she must be “crazy”? To quit a stable job was perhaps the first “crazy” thing to some …. Then to do things of such was perhaps totally unheard of…Yet, I just felt when would be a better time to pursue a dream except now especially I can do it on a fulltime basis during these few months before I move on to the next phase? It really takes a lot of childishness (childlike faith?) to do this…. But to be honest, this childishness of mine, to indulge in this hobby, may not last very long since I am after all a very pragmatic person… that is the reason I am rushing to finish it.

Friends who heard that I am doing this also questioned how could I expect the task to be completed in a month? (I am giving myself only a few weeks to do this) Such a task sometimes takes years. I was initially quite taken aback, for it is true, but then who says it can’t be accomplished? The fact is 2 years worth of illustrations have been accumulated, and it was not done over 2 to 4 weeks, it was a journey I have taken for the past few years, now it is a matter of touching up and enhancing the quality.

Recently, I watched a documentary, just a short clip. About a designer who chooses his hobby as his work. The reason given by him that he can persist in this, he believes it is his simplicity and childlikeness that allows it to happen. How many of us dare to put down reasoning for a while, to go forth and do something they really like, it takes the singleminded, simple ones to go forth and do it… Perhaps thinking too much, asking too many “what if” is the deterring factor. Rather than spending time on “what if”, might as well channel the time to just do it first and see! So I hope I have given a good answer. Sigh, but the pragmatic me is catching up soon… time is precious…”what if”? Cheers!

Note: the above is the 1st real painting completed after 7 years. Used it to take part in a competition, didn't win anything, but it is ok, since right from the beginning, this painting was painted for myself anyway. Concept as follows:

Childhood dream etched forever in one’s mind, though it remains an episode of the past, but has subconsciously become one’s pursue for the future, thus forever vibrant and beautiful. “Now” the mundane routine of life becomes dull and depletes of colours. Seeking to repaint the present, start anew and boldly take on the dream of one’s childhood, like caring for a sapling in one’s hand, seeing the growth of the sapling in the realm of imagination, and never failing to take the childhood’s dream as a point of reference when journey of realization seems challenged and difficult.

Three methods of expression were taken, almost as a collage of images in one’s mind, vibrant colours depicts the dream. Grey symbolizes the present: career, finances, endless deadlines and time, which are portrayed by everyday items: set square, calculator, planner, and a watch that “time” finally comes to a stand-still on the canvas. Ink as a medium to explain the journey, from imagination to reality; translating between dream and future, via ink, stroke by stroke. The green sapling symbolizes a new beginning, fresh and new. How many dare to boldly take this step to start afresh- a new beginning?

Almost Ready

2007-06-23T22:46:00.000+08:00

An illustration which was delayed for a month cos I was afraid of "kanna sue", as shown above, hope you catch it, perhaps only those in the building industry can appreciate the comic. It is just for laugh, and it is altogether hypothetical.

Another week has passed, I have been counting down since I stopped "working". I felt rested, and ready to set forth, and start afresh at last. And yes, I have finally acted, though it may take quite a bit of time before any further progress, but at least I have taken a step forward, and I am leaving the rest for my Shepherd's further input.

So in the meanwhile, time is really precious, there are still quite a bit of things done halfway through. This break to me has been fruitful, I have finally started on what I set out to do right from the beginning, a childish pursue but I felt it is worth all the while...been working about 8-10hrs a day at home on my own, no one to impress, just wanted to act on a long time dream and the satisfaction is rewarding. The time flies and work doesn't really feel like work, though there is no monetary gain yet. There are times it seems there is no inspiration, and yet there are times rivers flow unceasingly. B, may need your help soon, to check through my stuff, can? Think another 1 week it should be ready... Thanks, remembered you said you can help me?

It's been years since I spend so much time at home with my mom, perhaps the last time was when I was in my university. Unlike most of my peers, I am one who worked pretty well at home alone, for I am someone who didn't like to be compared with or to compare or interested in what others are doing, or having peers looking over my shoulders to see what I was doing or had completed, as I just didnt like to be in a competitive working environment, I enjoyed doing things based on my little target set each day and at my own pace, almost like a scientist in deep research. For I felt most at ease working in this manner, and strange enough, this method of working has never caused me to be the slowest, in fact many a times, I ended being one of the fastest among my peers. And this has been my methodology for the longest time, even when I am working in the real world.

Been pondering. I thank the Lord for this working methodology, listen and look within my heart, for the answers are there already, supplied by the Shepherd. There were a few occasions I adopted others' methodologies, looking to others for inspiration, comparing my speed with my peers, trying to conform, to impress and please people above, and the results have turned out almost disastrous. As I looked back (it is a bad habit to keep looking back), those miserable last few months when I was feeling frustrated was perhaps I was trying so hard to please, to live up to what I thought I was supposed to be? And perhaps I started comparing, looking outward instead of within and looking to others instead of Him for assistance? For that period of time, I forgot I was working as unto the Lord, which was what I was doing before that all along. Let me never forget this again, my Shepherd.

I have learnt a little during this break. May my Shepherd always, constantly remind me that He alone is more than sufficient for me, and He will always supply. Cheers!

16th June 2007

2007-06-16T15:25:00.000+08:00

MY NIECE

Yesterday was my niece’s 21st birthday. In fact, I was planning to post a special illustration yesterday just for her, but there was simply no inspiration and therefore it is postponed until now, when the idea came last night at a concert. Hope you like it, Xiang, you are forever as lovely as a rose, prized highly in the Shepherd’s eyes. In fact, both your sis and I thought of getting you a bouquet of flowers last week when we celebrated together with you…cos of various reasons…. We didn’t get in the end… so here it is, a pretty lasting rose so long as this blog continues…. We as a family love you deeply! Have not been catching up with you much, as you have been so busy with work, though hearing news about you on and off from your sisters and mom, how fast time flies, seen you grow from a baby into a pretty young adult (this does not mean I am old), at times a babysitter for you (I think I did, cos I baby-sit your sisters so many times, I presume I did that for you too)… you have also been an item for my sketches when I was schooling, I looked through my old sketches, there was a portrait of you with your pillow and pacifier, didn’t have the courage to post that, as the sketch needed quite substantial touching up before it is presentable. Our Shepherd has given you wings to fly and excel in your dream, and therefore continue to dream big! You are ever so bold and sure of what you wanted to do in life, may you in the pursue of the dream in your heart, that your revelation of His love for you increases everyday!

MY FRIEND

This illustration is also dedicated to a beloved friend, who is going through a difficult time now. I know my lovely niece will be glad to share this illustration with you too, as this picture came when I was thinking of my niece and you. Friend, quit doubting about yourself, you truly have a talent placed in you from above (write this cos it is true and not mere comforting words, it is so visible to us, perhaps you can't see), you are just in the middle of the journey, and you have not seen the plan of God for your life unfolded fully before you yet, surely He who places the dream in you will provide you with the strength and ability to fulfill that dream as well. I will always be a listening ear whenever you need, but most of all, our Shepherd will never leave you alone. Love you, friend! You will come out of this stronger with the Lord soon. You are a precious beautiful gem to Him, for He deems you worth His entire life!

16th JUNE 2007

A lot on my mind today, as I would normally spend the entire Saturday morning reading the papers, as it was the only free day in the past to catch up with the entire week’s news, and I would read almost anything except sports and money, somehow these 2 don’t excite me that much. Therefore this explains the length of today’s journal, cos so much needed to be penned down.

Read about the slaves in the brick kiln, read about how some people survived with US$2 a day. And then I read about space travel possible soon, costing one about $300 000 per ride into space yesterday. How disparate 2 lifestyles that can co-exist in this world, where on one extreme, people are living in abject poverty, while a few are spending millions on seemingly crazy pursue. Lives seem of no purpose in the first situation, when humans are treated like working robots. It reminded me of a question I did ask myself when I was a kid while watching all those Chinese kungfu drama, how people killed one another, especially in scenes where there was a war going on, how all the soldiers who were dying in the background became seemingly just props for the story, didn’t they too if in real history, had families, where each of them meant a great deal to someone, yet why was it that they became so common and just one in so many here in the small screen? Isn’t everyone in this life remains forever dear, unique to another individual, be it one’s parents, friends and most of all, our Shepherd? (Think too much lah!)

Then I went on to read my favourite sections of the papers, Life! And Saturday. somehow both touches on a hyper sensitive topic to me, architecture, one that can evoke much talk from me, so here it goes. En bloc and iconic buildings were the 2 topics. In the last 6 years working in this field, interesting enough, I have actually touched on situations related to them, just before I left my job. I would say it is a really sad thing to begin with, buildings were thought to be built to last a lifetime? Yet now, building stands for 10 years and it is time to be torn down. (Perhaps that is why I really didn’t want to do condominium design anymore?) Gone were the days of those childish dreams of an architect of building something that last? Architecture has become a style, a fashion statement? I thought buildings were for the betterment of mankind, to create a space to engage, hold a dialogue, evoke feelings, and possibly improve human lives. And the idea of iconic buildings? I have seen the Beijing’s new grand theatre from afar in my last trip, and to be honest, I am not at all impressed. Iconic without a story is an empty shell. Perhaps my ideal sounds childish still, good design should have an engaging story, a deep-thinking process involved, and the beauty came forth as a result, this I saw in the beautiful Temple of Heaven, Tabernacle of Moses, in them nothing redundant, everything oozes with meanings and symbolism. I have never produced a work of such caliber so who am I to be a critic of others? (Only in Him will that be possible in my life.) Paiseh…. Perhaps the Jewish Museum in Berlin would have come close, though I have never been there myself (wish to go one day)… and anyway… the registration is full for the Daniel Libeskind’s talk this coming week, before I even had a chance to register!!! Sob! (I must have been too “bitter” of not getting a place and therefore become such a critic!) Who would offer me a seat to attend? Help, Daddy God!

Painting . Architecture . Cartoon . Change . My Shepherd

2007-06-14T12:59:00.001+08:00

Painting is a passion, Architecture is my rice bowl, Cartoon is my dream, but the Lord Shepherd is my All.

Life’s dilemma entails a great deal in decisions. Everyday, we are challenged almost at any instance, to make decisions, some are harmless, some constitute great impact to our future while others create no small impact to others. Be it deciding what to eat for lunch, shall we watch this movie or that, what shall I do next, this project or another, shall I take up this job or not, shall I accept the Lord’s offer of salvation, etc, they are decisions we have to make at one point or another, some may have great consequences.

The 1st real painting since I started my working career, has finally finished yesterday, after a week of fulltime painting (with OT but done willingly), now in the touching up process. Looking back, I only painted twice for myself, once close to the turn of the year 2000, and the other one, now. Those I did in school were mainly to fulfill school’s requirement, and in fact, I was doing more designing than painting in the past since my secondary school days. I realize only recently that I actually quite like still life, and composition of different methodology of presenting an artwork, and I didn’t know I can actually paint quite well…(boasting here), that my Daddy God has actually given me a gift that I hardly use all my life… At least not too late in discovering it now…

Architecture to me is still a love-hate relationship, though through the years, the Lord has helped to dissipate the hate aspect more and more, and love for it has increased at a very fast pace. To be honest, designing is not 2nd nature to me, it seems that I always have to go through a process of deep quietness, a pondering process, even at times struggle, almost to the extend of needing to seek the Lord for breakthrough each time, and perhaps it was precisely because of this, there arised a “dislike” of it, as everything seemed so unsure, yet it makes me ever so dependent upon the Lord, as only through architecture, can I see I am nothing without the Lord. Yet the satisfaction when the idea drops from above, is beyond words.

Drawing cartoon is a dream I had as a child, seeing my brother drew cartoons at the corner of his book and flipping it quickly always amazed me, and Walt Disney (the person) is always an inspiration to me. To produce cartoon be it in the form of a book or even a movie (dreaming still) that captivates the human heart is a dream… For cartoon unlike art found only in museum and gallery, is a layman’s art, that anyone can relate to, and this is what I really love, I call it art for the simple folks, cos I am also simple.

Now in the process of in between jobs. I have difficulty deciding the next step, indeed… I have. To be honest, I am afraid, as I didn’t want to be trapped in the mindless attempt of struggling to keep up with the schedules in work anymore, all seems so vain and crazy, the rush, the datelines, the occasional “rejections”, abortive works, now that I am out of the picture, I can see it objectively. Change, is it possible in this line? Can Architecture be to me a hobby rather than a rice bowl? All things are possible with God.

Amid all these, a decision... only the Lord knows the next step… He leads me beside still waters, He leads me in the path of righteousness for His name’s sake… Meanwhile, I am still in indulgence… Selah.

Beginning of Baa & Meow?

2007-06-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

Been feeling great recently, and I mean GREAT! For the past few weeks, I have finally started the engine of my train, to start doing what I have been wanting to do during this “sabbatical break”, that is to draw and paint. I am having such great fun in my time of solitude, and I am still in the midst of it! I had almost forgotten what it was like to paint, and even forgot the fact that I can actually paint!!! When was the last time I decently paint a painting, except those small ones I did for this blog, it could be more than 5 years ago? In fact, I am really thankful to God that this blog has spurred me on to draw again, a hobby that I love very much. It has become a tool to express and a tool to encourage, especially myself.

Painting to me has a strange therapeutic effect, it has the ability to relax my mind, and I really enjoy the process, of mixing colours, painting on the canvas, standing back to check proportion and colour, etc. I am thankful to my Shepherd for giving me the ability to draw and paint, and most of all, for using this to teach me to rest, and also it has no agenda attached as I truly have no one to impress this time round except perhaps myself!

The truth is I may have finally rested quite a bit recently, somehow I caught myself with “heightened ability” to notice the unnoticeable and small sudden spur of inspirations here and there, to see things which I don’t normally do. For the past week, being alone, having to visit the neighbourhood to get lunch, dinner and papers, I started noticing my estate, my neighbours, my surrounding, and I felt so blessed. One of them is my neighbour’s cat. (Remember I mentioned about my neighbour’s cat?) You would never know that it has in fact become a source of inspiration to me.

One day as I was going out of my flat to run an errand, I saw my neighbour’s cat, lying lazily along the corridor, looking out through a gap in the parapet wall. It is having a great time of its own, I pondered. At that moment, I was actually jealous of it (fancy the fact that a human being is envious of a cat?), it does not need to worry about the next meal or to find a job to stay alive, and it is so well fed, having all the time in the world to play! I was then reminded that I am in a better position that it, as I am the prized possession of my Shepherd. Selah.

I realized several times my inspiration comes while I am having my shower, and this happened again today. I had an idea of a comic strip which can run for a long period of time coming to me in that instant, “Baa & Meow”, the enmity between the lamb and the cat living within the same estate! Cool! So this is it! I have started on the draft for the cat, searching for the perfect cat image to match my lamb. Please vote, pals, bearing in mind how my lamb always look!

Having so many things I want to do, and in fact I am kept pretty busy almost everyday, drawing, painting, learning new software, reading etc etc, I am also already experiencing haven! This to me is really enjoying life, no need to spend much, yet so fulfilling and feel so enriched everyday. I am excited, having so many things to do and to learn… hope you too have an enriching week ahead! Cheers, pals!

(A friend commented that I look so relaxed recently, the "tense" look has slowly dissipated, all thanks to God for inventing the principle of rest! And also thanks to all my dear friends and loved ones out there, for the past few weeks, I have been reminded by them to think about asking for copyright and even publishing my comic in the physical world and not in virtual world, I will start to look into this seriously. But the Lord has to open the door for me, please pray for great favour for me then in this area, actually I am totally blur as to how to proceed with this, although I say I will start looking at it seriously.)

Home Alone . 5000 Hits

2007-06-05T22:34:00.000+08:00

Been pretty busy since. Celebrated my XX birthday over the period of last week, simple, cosy get together times with family and friends. This week is perhaps one of those rare weeks that I am alone at home for 5 days, as my mom and brother are away. Having to do a little housework which otherwise I would not be bothered, so that I can at least survive, like boiling water for self-consumption, watering the plants, prepare some simple meals if I am too lazy to go out to get my food.

Despite the fact that I have spent quite a bit of time drawing since the past week, I have done none for the blog.... therefore this explains the above, a collage combining 2 past works.... just felt this deserves an illustration to celebrate the 5000 hits mark and yet I had little time to draw one. Thanks to all friends who have supported this blog. There are simply so many things I want to do in this month. For example, to learn (self-study) to do some simple web design and to publish one perhaps to earn some profit, to paint a painting for myself to mark a new beginning (still conceptualizing), to draw a dream I have been cherishing for the past year, started on this, but the task is quite daunting, and it has been a long time since I really, seriously draw, as in DRAW.... Time is so precious!

So I wouldn't be writing too much, time to switch off my mind now for a little TV entertainment... Tomorrow is a brand new day with new inspiration from the Lord! Cheers!

A Taitai's Life?

2007-05-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

Ok ok, so there is no excuse for not producing new illustration, now that I am free, but strange as it seems, I was really quite busy the past week, I wonder why, though I am not working. (The above illustration is a re-render of an old piece of work about 2 years back, sorry no new work today.) How did I spend my last week, I ponder. I really didn’t do much but it just flew past me.

As one of my ex-colleagues asked me “Are you living a Taitai’s life?” Perhaps, a little bit of that this past week. I did a few days of errand running, shop for birthday gifts, visit the museum yet again, spend time with my mom, and that is it, the week is over, and I have yet accomplished what I should be doing… No more delay, now that the portfolio is done and even updated…

Though I feel I have yet rested enough… at least for the next week, it will be my gift to give myself a little break, plus it marks the special occasion that this blog has entered its 3rd year. Hope it will reach 5000 hits by next week! (Maybe I should keep going to my own blog to achieve that? Self-effort!) I wonder how long I would still continue drawing for this blog, as I would want to invest a little more time in other illustrations, I pray for His grace and wisdom and strength for embarking on a little dream of mine in the coming month, hopefully it can be accomplished by then, grace grace, before I choose to go back to a routine life-style? Somehow for the past 1.5 months since I started my “no employment”, my daily life has been almost unpredictable, I never really know what I would be doing the following week, almost everything takes me by surprise, though I am glad for the adventure. The amazing truth is that my daily life and expenses have been well-taken care of by my Shepherd. He is ever so faithful. There are suggestions by close ones that perhaps I should consider taking up this life-style for a while, to me, this is like walking in total faith (or to be worldly rational: total uncertainty) and it seems really quite a huge test for me. Unless the Lord speaks to me very loudly, in lightning and thunder, I guess I would opt to be a simple employee.

As for the weightier issue for my pondering over this architectural career, it seems a slight little clearer now, but I would not write on this heavy topic till time permits.

Meanwhile, wish you all too have a restful and enjoyable week ahead! I believe I sure would, as that will be the Lord’s gift to me this week! Shalom!

Great Wall

2007-05-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

A sketch of my visit to the Great Wall at Badaling! Awesome and unforgettable! This is an attempt of combining colour pencils with photoshop rendering. Really grateful to Papa God that I got to see another wonder this year, without me even asking! A contented beloved lamb indeed.

Journal in Beijing

2007-05-18T22:12:00.000+08:00

16 May 2007
It’s been quite a fun trip, I went to the Temple of Heaven on Sunday, and what a tremendous experience I had, despite the fact that I missed a Sunday service, I felt almost that I had an encounter with the Lord, as He brought us through the tour, reminding us of the beautiful work that Jesus did as the sacrificial lamb that died on the cross for us. Everything there oozed forth with biblical truth, the 12 gates of heaven, the 3 tiers, 3 doors, about the Son of heaven, the without blemished calf that was used for sacrificing, the Emperor, the One that offered the sacrifice once a year to the God of Heaven, the God of harvest. The similarities between the Jewish and Chinese ancient sacrificial ceremony are almost endless, I was awed by the whole truth unfolded before my eyes, to the effect that I was literally feeling goose bump at the end of the journey through the temple.

I also went to the Forbidden City, though it was great fun, but nothing beats Temple of Heaven and the experience I had. We went to 798 art district yesterday, it is an old industrial warehouse area that was converted into a place for housing contemporary artists. The setting for the different art galleries was pretty awesome, except that many of the art works were quite disturbing, touching on extremely sensitive topics.

However, I would say the most fun part was the trip we had today, to the Commune by the Wall, Badaling and Olympic Village. It was an eye-opening trip to me, totally absorbed in the world of architecture, from ancient civilization to the most modern buildings ever to be built. Commune by the Wall is a hotel development, made up of 11 villas and a clubhouse, designed by 12 well-known Asian architects. Many of them were really inspiring, being sited in such a scenic environment, with the great wall as their backdrop. We climbed the great wall at Badaling, although we cheated, we took a cable car up to almost the midpoint and climbed up to the highest peak we could see and took the cable car down again. It was so awesome! The climb was very challenging, as the slope was so steep.

We ended the wonderful trip today with a visit to the still under construction Olympic Village, although the buildings are not all up, they are so beautiful to behold already, the bird nest, the bubble swimming complex, etc, are so beautiful, really making it all worthwhile to visit Beijing just to take a look at these buildings when they are completed. And to make it even more awesome, the Lord blessed us with a beautiful blue sky and nice temperature throughout the day, a fact that many of the residents of Beijing told us was quite rare, as the sky there is hardly blue most of the time.

Just as I am looking back, never did I expect 2 months ago when I decided to leave my job that I would actually be going on a tour and visit Beijing, a place that I have wanted very much to visit for quite some time and didn’t come to fruition. My Shepherd really knows that I needed a good break, the dream of my heart to visit Beijing and a need for an inspiring design spur again. Thank You Lord for the trip! Life is really exciting, walking a step at a time, though not knowing what the Lord has in store for me for the next step yet, I know He has my best interest at heart, and whatever that happens, He is in control and all is going to be alright and better. Lord, help my unbelief!

I will be back home to face reality again, decision, decision, decision. Need to move on and decide on the next step soon, or rather let the Lord decides the next step for me. Cheers, He is surely in control! Shalom!

17 May 2007
Finally it is time to go home, taking the early morning flight back to Singapore tomorrow. It was a fruitful trip, I saw the vibrant architectural scene in Beijing, visited several scenic places, and almost finished a book I wanted to read in my stay here, and hopefully I can finish it tonight.
I didn’t shop as much as I did as compared to all the holidays I made in the past, not that there were not many things to buy, on the contrary, things were quite attractive here. But perhaps the emphasis this time is really to work and to take a short break by sightseeing. I did enjoy my stay here, though a bit thriftier than I normally would. I hope my next holiday will be to a place where I can just stay by a still quiet lake for a few days, read a little, draw a little and study a little, I believe my Shepherd hears my prayer.

Going home is always the best thing ever, despite how much I enjoyed my holiday, after all, I am a very homely person and nothing beats home and my mom’s simple cooking. Guess I will continue my writing when I touched down in Singapore, either tomorrow if I am still “alert” after the pretty long flight, or Saturday then.

18 May 2007
Touched down today. Seems like back to reality, and next week will be decision week… Sigh, Papa God please advise! This trip seems extremely long, perhaps it was because it was a work trip more than holiday, though it was really quite fruitful to me, as I enjoyed the design process, and most of all, having only to do one thing at a time, plus great assistance given to me for all the logistics, which in the past, I would have to see to them personally myself.

Posted above is one of my comic competition entries…It is a re-rendering of an older comic I did about a year ago. I had not gotten time to draw any new comic yet, though they are already brewing in my head! Cheers!

Hi from Beijing 你好!

2007-05-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

I have been in Beijing, coming close to a week. Life here is busy, but less stressful than the past, as I was only studying and designing one project at a time. It was quite a fruitful week, testing out new ideas, and seeing the ideas through the eyes of the individuals I am working with (but exerting my influence over their products subtlely), and thereby creating a new synergy of design. This method works quite well, I saw what I visualised internally through others. Yet the sad thing is although the concept was quite crystalised within 2 days while we were still in Singapore, the actual design process was only 2 working days in Beijing. God has been extremely faithful, the ideas came, the design broke forth, and the scheme was completed within 4 days here. The only sad part of it is that with such a short time, the idea was not given an opportunity to mature and harmonise, therefore the scheme does show forth a little non-uniformity... Given a little more time, some effort will be taken to unite the whole design scheme to one common identity with varied faces, utilising the concept to a further stage.

Therefore this marks the beginning of my tour of Beijing. For the past 4 days, I have been just going to office, back to the apartment, and been to the site once. Life has been pretty much a routine, deciding what breakfast to eat, what should we have for dinner, and what we need to complete each day, to ensure that there is no delay. Yet I am beginning to ponder, is this what I really want in life? Is achievement in my profession the utmost thing on my list? Selah. I doubt so.

Reading a little bit more at night, waiting for my hair to dry, causes me to think a little again. "My thoughts are not your thoughts..." What is my Shepherd's plan for me, His thought for me, I ponder. I am in a stage of my life thinking a lot, yet being physically occupied is actually good for me, especially when I am doing what I always think I like to do may help to make everything clearer.

I didn't have time to draw anything for the journal today, but I do have a very funny image, which I would illustrate when I am back home. Meanwhile, everyone at home, love and miss you all. I am well, going to go walk walk and shop already tomorrow, yeah, Beijing, here I come! See you all next week! And also, Happy Mother's Day to my lovely Mom, I miss you!

Out of Town

2007-05-05T20:11:00.000+08:00

Monday will be the beginning of a busy week I supposed, as I would be in China to rush a project for the next 1 to 2 weeks. This is my first attempt to do something freelance, and strange as it sounds, there is little sense of responsibility unlike the past. Somehow, you know that after the project timeframe is over, you will be back in Singapore and someone will have to take over from where you left off. In the past, whenever I take on a new project, I would always be left wondering if I can handle the added responsibility, together with all the other ongoing projects that I am already doing. Therefore, during those times, I would often fall into a strange conflicting emotion, on one hand, I would be excited for new design work to take on, testing new ideas, yet on the other hand, I would be concerned as to the little time I can afford to do the new project and yet manage the existing ones. At least for now, this conflict does not exist.

However, do keep me in prayer, as I would definitely need God's grace abundantly for the next week, as I ponder on an appropriate, beautiful design scheme, given the short timeframe, I need almost another miracle plus creative inspiration almost immediately. Grace grace!

Guess I will be writing from China, and finally able to visit one of the wonders that I have been longing to go. Shalom. Zai4 Jian4! (Goodbye in Chinese)

P.s. The above is the comic series I submitted for the competition 2 months ago, and since I didn't win, I post it here for your viewing. A bit childish but was done very quickly, so don't expect too much hor!

Shalom . A Child Again!

2007-04-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

This is the beginning of the 4th week since I stopped working in an office, or considered the 3rd week I started “resting”. In fact the pace of life was the best last week. If working is considered driving at 90-100km/h (at times even speeding), then last week would be at a very comfortable pace of 60-75km/h, a bit of design work, a bit of lazing around, a bit of sight-seeing. Cool, I would say I would love to be able to do things at this pace all the time. I am really thankful to Papa God as when I started thinking of the things I would want to do last week, a new non-stress task was dropped unto me, and I was really thankful and blessed to be able to play a part in it, so last week was really quite meaningful completing the task.

As for this week, lots of things in store for myself, reading, drawing a little I hope, listening to sermons, sight-seeing, slowing down the pace to perhaps 50km/h, before I pick up speed to 75-80km/h next week, if everything turns out well. Shalom and grace grace! In Christ alone, I place my trust.

For today, we had some simple, fun, self-upgrading lessons, a few of my friends came together to learn a new software and drawing, and posted herein are what they have done. Bravo, friends! Can we also post the sketches you all did? Which one do the readers prefer out of the 3 smaller ones?

Finally, the reason for the above illustration, I believe I must be visualizing myself as a child again when the above image dropped into me, and at the same time, I wanted to create the effect of evoking a sense of movement within a still image, therefore I did this sketch, as this will definitely evoke in all readers’ imaginations of the next action that will take place, the lamb being carried in the arms of the Shepherd, this is what I hope to achieve with this, evoking multiple images with one simple image. Hope it is successful. Cheers! I would not write too long this week, cos last week I wrote too much…. But I will definitely continue on the topic mentioned last week again soon…. Elaborating on the architectural expedition…. Blessed week ahead!

Life . Architectural Expedition . The Next Step?

2007-04-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

This marked the first week of my “sabbatical rest”. Amazing! For those who have worked with me, or knew me well, would know that I am a “hurry-hurry” person (a better term is “fast and efficient”?) , one who would attempt to finish what needs to be done asap, a silent rule residing in me “if what needs to be done can be finished today, then finished it today.” This could be the self-imposed principle that added undue stress on me. One that my Shepherd would have to deliver me from.

The reason I brought this up was that, it is truly tough for me to re-learn a lot of things afresh this week. First thing to learn is to do things slowly. It is truly a labour for me to rest, for someone almost a “workaholic” like me. By Tuesday, I had finished my folio cum printing, in just less than 2 days, something that I thought would take me a week. On Wednesday, my friends and I went to Johor by public transport, the first time I had ever done this in my life. Thursday and Friday, I attended a seminar. Looking back, I have yet rested, though I did catch some quick afternoon naps. It is not easy to learn to rest…. Especially when your mind would unknowingly wander off to unwanted restricted territory called “worry”.

Yet there are so many things I want to do, learn and study and most of all, to rest. But the rational part of me would remind me “there are responsibilities, there are expectations to meet.” The worried voice would attempt to distract me from my aim, unfounded worries, which has no basis if one is to probe further.

There are some fundamental issues to solve meanwhile, before I see myself ended in the same situation in the new job. That is when I started asking fundamental questions “Do I really like architecture?”, “what do I really like about this career?”, “Do I still want to be an architect?” “How should I approach design from henceforth?” “What design do I really like to do?” “What kind of architect do I want to become? (or rather what kind of architect the Lord would want me to be?”) etc etc…. At times, there will be discomforting answers, at times, answers that you knew that they are actually all along hidden within your heart, but that you need to take time to remove the accumulated dust above. (But please, do not be introspective, a subtle difference, I realized.)

A point that I have been avoiding to write for sometimes since I made the decision, I had finally mustered sufficient courage to write. “Guilt and condemnation”. Ever since the decision was made, I had been asked by many, even my own self, “why quit?” There is no one reason to explain, perhaps an accumulative number of reasons or circumstances? Afterall, I was treated very well by my bosses and I had great colleagues. And I would be disappointing some of the people I respected greatly with my decision. Yet, there has been a constant unexplainable frustration that kept emerging, hot-temperedness that seemed to surface itself constantly and getting ever more frequent, and this is not normal, in fact, it is scary. To pin point the reason was not possible to me, though there was a tiny indication of the cause. To solve this is urgent, at least to me, there and then.

Life is meant to be an enjoyment, as created by my Lord. Ever since, having the haunting questions “what is the meaning of life? Why are we born into this world” answered, life to me has taken on another meaning. These questions haunted me since I was a child, I would constantly ask myself since a young child, why live? Are there greater beings in this universe other than us? How can we ever come into this universe simply out of nothing? And where do we go once we died? Into nothingness? Although I was very young then, perhaps less than 10 years of age, I was constantly haunted by these questions. No amount of religions could give me a reasonable answer to settle these haunting questions, until one day, Jesus found me, and since then I knew that I knew He is real, all doubts and questions were answered since. That unforgettable experience etched forever in my heart, when I was about 15 years old. That settled the episode of the haunting questions, and I was never really bothered about the meaning of life ever since. To me, Jesus has become the reason to live, and life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest in Christ!

Yet, recently, as the enjoyment of my career seems to decrease, I was reminded again of the long forgotten episode of my childhood. I believe many people must have asked themselves these questions before at one point of their lives or another, but how many would have brushed them aside and move on. Reason why I was reminded again was I believe many people may have also experienced a point of great frustration in their career, however, perhaps they are in their comfort zone for sometimes therefore they disregarded it, or take it as normal to be frustrated, or perhaps, it was turned around finally. I would not say that I knew the solution to this now, but I choose escapism, looking away for a while.

To be honest, I don’t really like this transitional phase, I felt weak, indecisive, unsure. I am not one who can wait very long, yet it seems to be so now that the traffic light is still red, and I can’t wait to just speed off asap with the change to green light. I am anticipating… waiting for the change… waiting… waiting… waiting. Learning to wait…

This marks the beginning of the 2nd week of my break. So many things I have lined up for myself to do. Putting one important task that is meant to be completed this week till next, just felt within that it is still not time yet…. My rational mind kept saying, hurry hurry, get this done, but my heart would say wait…. Perhaps for one of the few times, I am going to let my heart decide rather than my mind… but I don’t think I have faith to sustain the postponement of this to another week if my heart still says so.

Today will also be my first day to re-learn a software that is critical for me to embark in a new job. I had known this software 4 years back, but trying to pick up from where I left off 4 years ago, was not really that easy, I almost want to “cry” while using it, how to measure, how to draw a box, how to pull out toolbars, etc etc…. sob!!!!!!!! Help! My fear 4 years back has now come back to haunt me, my fear that I would forget this software 4 years ago has returned! God help me to pick up this as much as I can within this week! Grace grace!

Guess enough has been written, this was written over the last 3 days….. I don’t like to end off with a sad tone so here explains a new illustration, surely He will shower His blessings of love all over my life! Fear not! Just abide in Him and enjoy Him now. Cheers, everyone! Shalom, shalom.

The Beginning of My Long Awaited Rest

2007-04-14T15:00:00.001+08:00

It was an adrenaline high week, working till the wee hours into the night, perhaps later than what I would do when I was working officially in an office setup. However, this time, it was different, I was not paid for what I was doing, the funnier thing was I even had to start investing in a new printer, etc etc, to accomplish the work. Yet for a long time since perhaps mid of last year, I again enjoyed designing. This time, I design for an imaginary client, with my Shepherd as my Employer and my friends, as my co-partners. It was fun, cool in fact, that we all went through a lesson trusting in the Lord, entrusting the entire project into His hands, after all, many of us are not trained, and God's grace is truly amplified as a result, because when we are weak, then we are strong, and it is not by might, nor by power but by His Spirit, and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

In fact, it was almost immediately upon my leaving of my previous job that I hop on this train to take up this fun adventure with my friends, and I am really thankful to them for joining me in this expedition, almost with no hesitation from them, must be God! And most of all, the fun and fellowship we all derived from it as a result was rewarding. And for me, I was able again to indulge in designing, using my imagination to dream up and create spaces, for the enjoyment of mankind. It was truly fun indeed, how I missed designing of such kind, I am sort of reminded that this is what I like most about my occupation.

Now that we had finished the task, I am going to truly take a break, prepare my portfolio and start writing resumes. (Actually, my dream is I don't have to write a single resume and be employed.... who knows?) I think I would start doing this this comng week but ask for a deferment to start work in June? And at the same time, I hope to start drawing my comics and fulfilled a little dream, etc during this break. Meanwhile, do support me, I took part in a comic competition, and I sent 3 wall papers and 1 comic. Do go vote for me, k? My comic is very easily recognisable, it is the little lamb series and the style is similar to those I have been posting in this blog. The link as follows:

http://www.comiworld.com/idol/

(Just a point to note, they spell my name wrongly.... they added an extra "n" to my name.... somehow I can never understand why people tend to add a "n" or remove a "n" from my name, it happens to me all the time, even when I was working, my clients and consultants tend to spell my name wrongly even when my email address shows my name in full!!!!! sigh)

My 3 wall papers title are : Friends forever, I can fly, Carefree

My comic title is:Sheepish Dreamer

Do support me! Thanks a million! Would really appreciate that!

Recently, been thinking a lot, perhaps not writing as much, and most likely I would write on them in the next journal. Two questions:

What is life, and why are we in this world? (I knew the reason years ago the moment Jesus found me and with that I went ahead and enjoy living with little fears of the unknown, or question about the "other world"and I had sort of taken the answer for granted, until I began to realise that many people around me actually did not know the purpose of living, and that is why some are still haunted by this question, which is good.)

What kind of architect I would want to be? I can briefly write this now, in a summarised version, I want to be an architect that designs good, sensitive buildings, no longer just merely focusing on the visual, but more for the good of mankind.... very noble dream I suppose, but I really mean it.... hahahah, only by the grace of God can this be accomplished.

Guess I would write on the first question in the next journal.... if I am led to... cheers! Have a blessed fun filled week ahead, and a great time with the Shepherd! Finally my resting time has come! Yeah!

Easter

2007-04-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

Concluded the last month of work just before Good Friday last week, and will rest for one or two months before I start all over again. (What a great day to conclude and start afresh actually, come to think of it, Good Friday!) It is actually not an easy task, to put away the past, and move on, just as I began to realise. There will still be occasions when I caught myself unaware looking at the past, or wondering what happened to a particular project, I am quite emotionally attached to my projects, something that I am learning to let go, Papa God, please teach me to hold everything with a loose hand. Guess this is the transitional period. However, I would say this is an appropriate move as I really badly needed a good rest, or perhaps the body seems to be requesting for a rest.

But it seems that I still have to put off my rest to yet another week, as a few of my good friends and myself have decided to come together to do something fun, trusting Papa God in this little adventure that we all have decided to undertake, He will have to be the Inspirer, Motivator, Masterplanner, Chief Architect, Ultimate Designer, while we listen and follow Him every step of the way, and may Him be glorified in our lives. Grace grace, favour favour, wisdom wisdom and a hearing heart!

Today is Easter, in fact I was not sure what to write or even draw, but I saw a short footage of the "Passion of the Christ" again today, and am reminded that all that I ever needed in life is actually already purchased for me on the cross, I almost lost sight of it for a moment, so glad to be reminded again! Thank you Daddy! Thank you my Shepherd, my Saviour Jesus for all that you have done. So the above is just a quick little sketch of the crown of thorns on His head, He carries all our fears, worries and give unto us His shalom peace, good health, joy, His all! Stay blessed, everyone!

Hand In Hand

2007-03-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

I will not be writing much, just want to post the above illustration for today. Still sorting out my thoughts, however when everything has become clearer, I will then write. The human mind is indeed the battlefield, depending on what you fill it with....

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

“For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Cheers! Aza Aza! All will be well!

Alone . With Him

2007-03-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

I attempted to walk from City Hall to Orchard twice in a row this week. It was a long walk, more than an hour I supposed, strolling into SMU, even ventured into the art museum today. So many things have happened this week, and before I knew, all have gone into the past, I have taken action, and concluded a chapter in my life. Who would have thought a year ago that I would actually do this? I needed so much to walk, as I left my office a few days ago, and even today after attending a dear friend's solemnisation, I really needed time to think, ponder and cool my head. Have I behaved too rashly? Was I too impulsive? Have I been crazy to make such a decision? (Thank God for a moment as I stepped into the museum, Chen Wen Hsi's works took my mind off my immediate problem and for a while, I relished in the paintings, enjoying the exhibition, especially those of his last days, abstract yet full of dynamics and movement.)

I have given up. I am stepping forward in faith again. For a while I was shocked, when reality dawn on me truly after I have acted, I thought about the fact that I have an aged mom to care for, a flat and monthly bills to pay...But the fact is I have given up, I decided to let go, no longer having any strength within to stand anymore, I decided to give up and give up trying, the hope that the situation will improve disappeared, the pressure that I was facing is beyond I can ever take anymore. For a few moments, I almost felt all alone, my heart was crying. Totally introspective, looking within myself made me miserable. I had been staying in my comfort zone for 4 years, perhaps so comfortable, I have gotten even so used to the pressure, and falling into the constant hot-tempered mode when things just didn't work the way I wanted them to work, and which are happening ever so often these days, almost everyday, that becoming frustrated was an everyday event.

Yet, to once again step forward into the unknown, sounds scary to me, until the Lord brings to my remembrance that He has never failed me in the past, neither will He do so now. I was unable to come to a rest, that was why I started walking. (Now I caught a glimpse of why Forrest Gump ran?) As I was still pondering on my problem, not sure what the future holds, as I close the door behind me to open up the one in front, I saw a couple of kids, lying on the floor, rolling inside a cardboard, having fun. I talked within myself, how carefree they are, how I wish I am a child again, only live for today. Suddenly I was reminded within, isn't I a child of God, and I will always be a child, and I am to come to my Papa God as a child. Why am I worrying about what happens a month from now? Why worry about the future for my Lord has gone into my future, and I am His beloved lamb, and He is my Shepherd, I shall never be in want. Surely He who feed the birds of the air will take care of me! Don't worry about it now, when the time comes, my Shepherd will surely see me through it all. And even if the decision I have made already may even be wrong or a mistake, my Shepherd is able to work all things around for my good. He can prosper even through my mistake.

And therefore, true, I am again stepping out in faith, something that I have not done for several years. Jesus, I enter into Your rest. Shalom.

New Hairstyle

2007-03-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

I went to have a new hair cut last week. I have been wanting to have a shorter hair, guess I was tired of the old. Despite of my several attempts, my hairstylist did not seem keen to cut my hair too short, but with slight trims here and there on all my past visits. Not that I did not like the last style, it was so manageable, I don’t even need to comb my hair and it already looked combed, no fuss at all, just that I was tired, that’s all.

Not sure if you would feel the same way I do, I tend to have “butterflies in my stomach” whenever I go to the hair saloon, a bit like going to the dentist, but not as bad. The latter is that you are not sure what the dentist would suggest, the former is that you are never quite sure how you would look like after the experience. And therefore I always prefer to go the hair saloon during the weekend to allow myself some time to adjust to the “new look” before I see anyone familiar.

Yet this time, I have decided to go for a haircut, determined to cut my hair short, and on a Thursday night due to all the activities during the weekend, etc. But of course, this trip to the hair saloon must be preceded with a prayer to God, that He will guide the hands of the stylist and do the job correctly, my silent prayer always.

The above is just an illustration of what happened to my slightly longer than shoulder length hair, to now a length below the ear and above the shoulder. It was totally different from the last hairstyle, now with almost straight line trim, with layers hidden behind to thin the effect of too bouncy a hair. And on top of that, I got a new fringe, as a result of my asking the hairstylist, “Can I change my hair parting?” Guess most of you would know that it is actually good to change our parting once in a while to allow the hair in that area to grow properly. Since my parting has been with me for years, it is time to “part”. And due to the stubborn nature of the parting, he suggested I can try a fringe this time round, as this helps to change parting easier.

The funny episode of the whole event was, now I looked like I am in my secondary school hairstyle, minus the school uniform and the “natural” eye shadow… I am still in the process of getting used to it even after 4 days. Sigh. But I must believe that my Papa God has already guided the hairstylist’s hands. To think that I have paid for a hairstyle that I got more than 10 years ago, at perhaps triple or more so the price in the past? Hmmm, selah, a point to ponder on.

The only good thing is that people said I look younger, whatever that means… The next time I go to the saloon perhaps in 3 months down the road, I would definitely ask him to give me the fuzzy layered finish again, no more the one straight edge type…. Meanwhile I am learning to like the hairstyle… grace grace… (p.s. apparently this is supposed to be the “in” style now, straight trim, guess it is back to retro again!)

He Goes Before Us

2007-02-25T18:30:00.000+08:00

I was not planning to post anything this week as there was no new inspiration for any illustration. To be honest, I am not exactly in great mood, perhaps the slight dissatisfaction at work, the seemingly "looming" situation at home, and ..., sigh... wish to have a pair of wings to just fly away at times like this... (Don't worry, I am fine, just not "over the moon" only).

Yet amid all the minute storms in life, and my fruitless attempt of trying very hard to put out the small fires here and there, I took my eyes off the One who cares for me most, My Shepherd, Jesus. Today, I heard a wonderful sermon, a topic that has never failed to touch me, the sermon of the Shepherd and His sheep. The call of a sheep, or rather the sheep's role in life is simply to follow the Shepherd, as simple as that.

Therefore, this explains the above illustration, one that captured my imagination today after hearing the sermon. I remembered years ago, I had a good friend in Secondary School, one of the few who attempted to introduce Jesus to me, she copied the entire story of "The Footprints In The Sand" in my autograph book, a story that never fails to touch me till today. It is about a man who had a dream, and in that dream there were always 2 pairs of footprints in the sand, however he noticed that when it came to crisis in his life, there is always only one pair of footprints. (The footprints in the sand illustrate his journey in life, one pair belonged to him and the other belonged to the Lord.) So he asked the Lord why was that so, did the Lord left him alone during his times of trouble? The Lord must have answered Him ever so tenderly and gently, with love in His eyes at that moment, saying that during those times of trouble, the Lord Himself was carrying him over, that explains the single pair of footprints.

I have also heard another story, about some primitive people who when attacking their enemies, they would walk in a single line, and stepped only on the footprints of the person who walked before them, this is to prevent the enemies from knowing the number of people they have, therefore leaving only one pair of footprints on the ground.

I am not attempting to illustrate the 2 stories above. The illustration is just a piece of my imagination earlier on as I was pondering on the sermon. Our role as sheep is to follow the Shepherd, as He will surely lead us through, and He will never leave us nor forsake us. Therefore in the above illustration, you see a pair of footprints in the sand, the sheep follows the way as the footprints of its Shepherd would lead, for the Shepherd goes before it. Hope you like the illustration.

Apple of His Eye

2007-02-17T09:48:00.000+08:00

It's been 2 weeks since I last wrote. A bit exhausted mentally and physically, having very little zeal to write or even draw, though the idea for the above image was already conceptualised a week ago. I could not muster enough courage to draw the eye, as any discerning person who has read and viewed my illustrations in my blog would know, I tend to avoid drawing the front view of my Shepherd. To me, no matter how good an artist I am or I could be, I can never draw Him accurately, even several times when I attempt to draw Him from behind, I felt the proportion wrong or inadequate. He is so marvellous and perfect that I don't see myself capable of drawing Him to His full extent of beauty or ever will, until perhaps when I see Him face to face...

This would be my first attempt to draw a portion of His face (although I have attempted to draw His hand before), even that, I was aware of the inadequacy of my illustration. My desire to draw a compassionate, merciful, loving and yet powerful eye is beyond me, and no amount of my vain human imitating could possibly illustrate this image to the way I desire, therefore I trim the eye to a very limited portion, just to bring forth the concept "apple of His eye".

Meanwhile, I am glad that it is a 4-day break starting from today, as it is Chinese New Year again. No great plan for this season, and since I hardly do visiting these days, I shall take this opportunity to rest a little, really need that. Come to think of it, one either read that I am so busy, so tired, need a break etc in my blog, that is really nothing else left..... guess this career in architecture is really drawing too much out of me, though I know that I should "let go and let God", "quit trying so hard and just believe", "enter into His rest", etc, it is simply that perhaps I have yet come to the end of trusting myself.... It is not easy though it is simple. For the past week, I have dreamt on several nights in a row, of changing the layout plans of my residential projects, meeting the clients, going to site, etc.... scary... people have nightmare, I have "workmare". I have enough of residential projects, despite of how many times I mentioned this to my boss, it simply does not seem to register in his mind that I have enough .... I think ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I don't want to take any more lip service.... One thing becomes clear to me all of a sudden today, it is vain to put my trust in man, only Jesus can we trust!

Sigh, enough of complaints. My blog has become my avenue of voicing my complaints. Forgive me, my desire for this blog has always been to illustrate His wonderful love for us and not for complaints. I believe after this 4-day break I shall be better. I know the breakthrough is ahead, Lord, give me the courage! I wish you all a blessed Chinese New Year! Only in Him can we trust! No worry, pals, I am fine.... just a bit cranky today.

Chef For A Day

2007-02-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

Papa God has been faithful to all my little cries, and truly for the past week, the demand and pace in my work has slowed down a little, and I can afford to rest a bit. Yet in the midst, I came down with a flu, running nose and a slight sore throat, it is the little things as such that ruined perhaps a much needed break, after approximately 2 weeks of hardly any rest in between. Perhaps it is also a little reaction from the body crying out for a break? Thank God for a speedy recovery, I went to bed at 9pm on Wednesday and had a good 10 hours sleep to 7am the next morning.

Just a little fragmented thought of mine today, we, people of modern-life, have come to a stage in our lives that we can almost no longer devote our full attention to a single task. This afternoon, as I was attempting to write something for this blog, plus converting some cd into mp3 format, and surfing the net to source for some items, I realised that I was multi-tasking. In the end, I did not manage to complete any of the tasks that I set out to do completely, whole-heartedly, this is the disheartening part of modern age. Even as I pondered on this, it was brought to my attention that even our computer function similarly. Although in many cases, we subject it to do several tasks at the same time, yet because it is multi-tasking, it runs slower for each task, guess you must have noticed this. Try opening several windows at the same time, each running a different program, you will realise that the speed substantially slows down for each. Even with the new series of duo core system, it seems this is still happening, guess it is simply reflecting a simple principle of life. It is better to stay focus on one and do it to the best then doing several things at the same time and none is well done. Selah.

The above is just a thought that flew through my mind today. Enough of that, my colleagues and I were all "dolled" up with a common theme on Friday for our D&D, in chef's hats and plastic disponsable aprons, and we all looked simply adorable seated together around a table. Armed with fake utensils and real vegetables, just like the above illustration. Don't you think we must have looked really cute? We did have a great time. Much to my surprise, all at first who seemed least interested in dressing up for the occasion, all ended up with so great enthusiasm on the actual day, united in one accord, hopeful to win a prize, but the ultimate aim to really enjoy ourselves. It was great! (Note: If only we can be so united even when we are working...., but somehow we are getting there... real soon, grace grace!) And yap, the above illustration is specially for all of my colleagues who have dressed up as chefs together!

In Christ Alone

2007-01-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

"In Christ Alone", a beautiful song and one of my favourites, was sung on Sunday, drawing the lyrics again to my attention. This song has hardly ever failed to touch me. For the past week, with the more than crazy work schedule, there were a few occasions I caught myself, that I had almost forgotten who it was that has brought me through all the past years, and almost for a short moment, I relished in my achievements, almost thinking that it was by my own strength and power that has gotten me thus far. How scary that sounded to me and woe to me to ever think that by my own self effort or "intelligence", that I can ever amount to anything if not for His grace in my life. Many successes in life comes almost supernaturally natural, making it ever so easily mistaken as our own achievement, yet for many circumstances, Someone who loves us dearly must have intervened, translated, diverted, etc our steps and actions to cause all these successes to come to past.

Reaching home every night after 11pm for the past week, a day out celebrating friends' birthdays, and the Sunday night at a colleague's wedding, exhausted me, not to mention that I tried to force myself to stay awake to catch one of my favourite TV dramas late last night, falling asleep several times in the short 1 hour period. I think I am tired, truly am. And this also partly explains the delay in publishing this blog. And yet again, I am totally grateful that despite of this all, my Shepherd has always seen me through every challenge that comes along the way. Yet for now, I hope the pace for this week will slow down a little, for me to recuperate, regain some strength and catches some sleep and reading.

Lastly I always love this song, but it has never occured to me that I can actually illustrate a song. As I was dwelling on the lyrics, the above image came across my mind, and here it is, my imagination into reality here. Hope for your week ahead, that you too catch a glimpse of this eternal truth, "Christ in me, the hope of glory". Only in Him, I can do all things, only in Him. Cheers! "In Christ alone, I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross!"

I need a break!

2007-01-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

I am trying out a new method of drawing comic, learning this from many animations that use this technique. Since I apply colours by using an appropriate software, I can in fact lay several comics unto one, to create semi-transparent effect, as above. Not sure if you can understand what I am trying to convey above?

For the past 1.5 weeks, it was a really hectic schedule, reaching home every night never earlier than 10pm. Perhaps construction industry is really picking up, I have overwhelming workload, everything that lies dormant, now seems to be activated at the same time. I cannot say I was exactly not affected, that would be lying, I was frustrated, having to rush several projects at the same time. This new year 2007 starts with me clocking in several hours of overtime in just the 3rd of week of January. Anyway, I shall let my comic illustrates my frustration instead of writing much this week.

I pray that the situation will improve over next week and the following few months. Keep me in prayer, really needs much of that! Jesus loves me, for I am His beloved.

Psalm 23

2007-01-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

I am combining a few illustrations that were published previously, plus a new one for today, to illustrate one of my favourite psalms in the Bible. Hope you enjoy this series of illustrations and be refreshed as you browse through them. Surely He will see us through every circumstance, and with Him, we can overcome every challenge that meet us in our paths this year.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures:

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;

For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

New Beginning 2007

2007-01-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

It is yet another busy week at work, despite of the fact that it is a 3-working day week, immediately after a long weekend due to the holiday season. For the past 3 weeks, even up till today, I had 3 gatherings with friends, consisting of church friends and old classmates of 20 years ago. Suddenly time seems to fly back to the past, as we looked back and savor the past memories and did quite a bit of catching up, and even looking forward to the next gathering. Trying to get in touch with some old friends seem almost quite impossible these days, after losing contact for 20 years, unless we did a paper advertisement to locate some of them. God help us!

Taking a slight step of faith this year, working less (in terms of hours), and trusting Papa God to provide for me as a result of my decision, yet He will and has remained faithful, as I learn to trust Him as my pay master. This year I hope to embark on a crazy idea that I thought of last year. It still sounds crazy to me now, but I would still want to do it. Meanwhile, I am literally taking a stand to rest more this year, being the 7th year I started working, therefore taking a "sabbatical" year, and see His faithfulness towards me, and also allow my body to have a break, less toil and less stress, after subjecting her to high stress environment for the past few years. Not to say that there is no joy in my work, I still must emphasize that I love my job, just that it is taking too much strength out of me at times. Time to recuperate and be recharged and refreshed.

Finally, the above is an illustration I drew for my colleague. I found it very appropriate for the first illustration for this year, to express a desire to spend a little more time with my Shepherd, hearing from Him, reading His love letters.

Lastly, cheers to everyone! Cheers to a great year ahead, a brand new beginning! Our Shepherd goes before us for us already, to make sure that it is good!

2006 to 2007

2006-12-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

With the beginning of every new year, I would make myself a notebook, one that is thick enough to last me for a year to write down notes, dreams and some important dates. I was to make one for my sister this year as she has use of it. The interesting thing is that while I was making them yesterday, I ran out of papers and while trying to ration the papers between my notebook and my sister’s, I realize my selfish nature surfacing, keeping all the nicer papers for myself, suddenly it reminded me again that only God can give up His best, His only beloved begotten Son, for a people who were against Him. It is already quite hard for us to give something to someone else other than ourselves, much less giving the best and giving it all.

As the year 2006 draws to a close, I have decided that instead of staying up to watch the fireworks (which I always love watching), I would like to pen down some thanksgivings to Papa God for this year, to remember God’s goodness and faithfulness towards me.

It has been an eventful year, some ups and downs, yet my Shepherd sees me through them all. I thank God for His unmerited favour for the year 2006 in my job, having great grace there, and for the coming year, I can again trust Him for putting me at the right place at the right time, and increase my skill by His grace for His glory. And for the coming year, greater satisfaction in my work, doing projects that I enjoy or dream to do. Only by Him can this be done!

Year 2006 is a year of testing to my relationships, a time to re-evaluate the priority in life, and a time of awakening, seeing myself rising up from my unknowing slipping into complacency state, for Papa God is able to turn all things around, even things that seem seemingly evil, around for good, for we are His beloved ones.

This is the year for the first time that I ventured out on a holiday, to as far as to States, truly speaking, to go on a tour all alone by myself. Learning to just trust the Lord, believing that He takes care of me, taking a great step ahead, relying on Him, based on His promise. It was fun, and I suddenly realize I can actually travel alone, though not really alone because my Shepherd is with me always, and it is truly quite fun after all, I think I can do that again in year 2007. I am not afraid anymore.

I thank the Lord for everything, a year of learning to hear a bit more from Him, relying on Him more, a year of learning to let go a bit more, resting a little more, of not trying so hard to please man, a year of not being led too much by my feelings… a year of drawing a little more….

And 2007 will continue to be a year of resting even more, I will take my work a bit lighter, doing more by doing less, letting Him take over, perhaps travel more (my Shepherd will have to provide), more time spend at home, in drawing, in learning new skills and software, and most of all, spending a little more time with Him and listening to Him more.

My prayer for you will be the same, accomplish more by resting more, sound contradicting but why not for this coming year, just take Papa God at His word and see what He can do for you! Blessed New Year!

Over The Rainbow

2006-12-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

It feels like Christmas already since yesterday, with the actual day of Christmas falling on a Monday this year, it just makes the whole celebrative atmosphere to start slightly earlier with the beginning of the long weekend.

Thinking that I would be very busy today, preparing for the small family party tomorrow on Christmas Eve, etc, yet to much of my surprise, there is really nothing much to do, after I got the drinks and snacks this morning, I practically was quite bored, wasting time before the TV. The thing about me is that I almost always finish everything that is to be done much earlier than most people, such as shopping for gifts, I almost finished doing that the last weekend. As for the preparation for the party, I had already started ordering and buying the food about 2 to 3 weeks earlier, therefore leaving me extremely free just before the actual event. Since young, perhaps this runs in my family, I had been trained mentally to finish the things that has to be done asap so that I can have time to play. And eversince, in my subconscious mind, I would unknowingly hurried to finish off my task, be it studying for exam, my project, work, etc asap, so that I would have time to rest, to do other things, to play; falling into a hurry hurry syndrome, which to outsiders, they may think of me as highly efficiently, but in actual fact, it is not something to boast about, I simply have to learn to enjoy the moment, and to learn to rest intermittently.

I read two very interesting articles today that seem to address this issue. In this present age everyone seems preoccupied with many tasks to do, multi-tasking, being caught in a situation of "continuous patical attention". A person may be conversing to someone, with one ear plugged to a mp3 player and typing away on a pc, doing 3 tasks at the same time, yet giving each other partial attention. The article said we become"so accessible, and so inaccessible", being everywhere except where we are. With more gadgets which are supposed to help us, we ended up busier than the past, no longer single-minded in one task, and perhaps never fully given one's full potential to fully complete a task to its perfection as we become busier with multi-tasking.

The other article discussed on rest. Studies show that the lowest mortality is related to sleeping between 6 to 7 hours a night. Lack of sleep could harm the body and sleeping more than 8 hours a night may not necessarily means better. Somehow all these studies simply prove the bible true although the bible needs no proving, for it is the truth, for the bible says " it is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late...", and that we are to labour to enter that rest. I believe we truly can do more , or walk further by resting more. Selah.

It is especially at such a wonderful season as this, that let us truly forget about work at least for these few days, and spend some wonderful time of partying, resting and getting together with loved ones, family and friends. Stop, rest, breathe in deeply and take time to smell the flowers with your loved ones. Remember the Lord's goodness and His promises to us, for He is always faithful! Blessed Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas round the corner

2006-12-17T22:24:00.000+08:00

I have finally finished reading "Chasing The Dragon" the second time yesterday. It was great, perhaps more impactful than when I read it the first time. The book was so good that my eyes were trying hard to hold back the tears on my train ride to the hair salon to have my hair trimmed. I finished the book in the salon, feeling so overwhelmed by all that was written. The simple gospel of love, of our beloved Shepherd who gave His all for us, with the gift of the overcoming power of the Holy Spirit changes countless lives. Those who cannot read are taught by the Spirit Himself of the wonderful love of God, that Jesus would die for even such as them. Indeed, because they truly knew what it means to be "forgiven much, therefore love Him much." They truly understand what it means to be saved by the grace of God, the unmerited favour of God. Christian living was never meant to be lived by our self effort, it is impossible, but is only possible by His Spirit, and that is how these lives are transformed.

I am still dwelling on the many stories in the book, need sometimes for me to think through. Praying in the Spirit... a gift given by Papa God to help His beloved ones, His children to pray. How powerful this gift is, as we use it often, up to individuals!

Just 1 more week to Christmas, always a delightful time to me, despite of the amount of hectic activities that are generated as a result of this special occasion. I simply love Christmas, a time when all things can finally slow down, or even stop, and loved ones gather together to celebrate Jesus' love for us! Yah, it is true that it may be "troublesome" to get presents for loved ones and people around you, even to the point of burning a huge hole in one's pocket, I can't deny that, it is true for me already, but nothing beats the wonderful excuse once a year for a chance to prepare a little gift to express your love and gratitude to them, even to those who have yet to hear about the love of Jesus for them in their lives. For this is an opportune time for me to "loudly" proclaim my Shepherd's love legally with no fear! No one can say "no" to a gift given during Christmas, I have yet come across any, and no way can easily shut one's ears at this time to hearing the gospel preached, thank God for Christmas!

Many loved ones to thank, many loved ones are again brought up to my mind. Many gifts are bought and made this year, but within my heart, my desire is that my gratitude and love can be send via them, but most important of all, that they can feel the love of Jesus for them!

(The above is a compilation of some previous illustrations showing the Shepherd and the lamb. Hope you like it. If I didn't send you a gift this year, I dedicate this compilation to all my dear friends out there! It is no coincidence that we cross paths in life, it is divine!)

Remembering

2006-12-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

Recently I picked up an old book to read again, "Chasing The Dragon" that I probably read it more than 10 years ago, partly due to the fact that my pastor briefly mentioned about the author recently. I could still remembered how touched I was by that book, the compelling real life stories of many individuals mentioned in the book, how the love of Jesus touched them, changed them from triad leaders, addicts, etc to Christians, totally overwhelmed by the unconditional love of God, and how each of the addicts overcome their addiction by the power of praying in the holy spirit (in tongues). I had almost forgot all about this until I read it again. I knew the benefits of praying in tongues, but over the years, it has just become a prayer that I would pray every now and then, but for a few short minutes, or during worship, but rarely as diligent as I would on reading my Papa God's love letter to me.

I recalled the day I spoke in tongues many, many years ago, how it changed my life, and at that very moment in life, I just knew that I knew all that I believe is true, the truth. Jesus is real, the gospel is real, the bible is real, praying in the spirit is real, not something made up in my mind, though it may seem so to people outside. I simply just knew.

It suddenly dawn on me recently, perhaps again, that this powerful gift could likely be the way to overcome prolonged sickness, depression, stress in life. Despite the fact that my pastor taught so much on it, it has never yet compelled me to want to pray with this wonderful gift on a regular prolong basis, until my recent reading of the book again. I suddenly realise my complacency. I felt awaken suddenly.

Perhaps this is the first time I ever wrote so much on a particular truth found in the bible, yet I felt it extremely important, even the key to many breakthroughs in many lives, which is more than any worthwhile mention of it! Just felt like saying, if you have time, do pick up this book and read, how it used to thrilled my heart, and even with my 2nd reading of it, it didn't fail to touch me again, causing me to rethink a lot of the once very important truth to me, causing me to remember.

Guess many of you must be really blurred by now, hope it didn't turn some of you off, which I hardly care, cos it is more important to please my Papa God than to try to please everyone who read this blog.

Much about the book I read recently, the above illustration was one of 2 pictures of a request by a friend to draw something for her devotion notebooks, and it was not the one chosen in the end. In fact, I had sort of made up my mind to publish all the past 1.5 years summarized illustrations for the next few weeks for this year instead of drawing new ones, but as a result of her request, with the theme being on "devotion", I ended up drawing 3 more illustrations, which may nicely last me till mid January 2007, praise God, how He always supplies more than enough!

My daily life is still as busy, as Christmas approaches, with the preparation for the festive season occupying almost all my free time after work, yet I always feel it is worth it all, when you can show your love and appreciation to those people who mean a lot to you, especially during this wonderful season of giving, for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son! Cheers!

Busy Busy Busy But Very Happy!

2006-12-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a while since I last wrote. The week passed by with my tender going out smoothly, although the preparation did not start well, but all praise to God, everything turns out alright finally, we are on time, though the quality is not the best, it is still passable.

I was busy not totally with work, but with getting Christmas presents, getting them ready etc, and I am "proud" to say that about half the gifts are ready! It was pretty tiring, but so fun, I simply love Christmas! The fun of getting presents, going through the list of people, imagining the gifts to get that will fit different individuals, etc.

And because of this, I have to say I had no inspiration this week for new illustrations for the blog, but I did something quite memorable, while I pondered on the type of gifts I am giving for Christmas. I went through a memory journey, looking back at the illustrations I did for the past 1.5 years, and I started compiling similar themes or methods of illustrating into groups, such as above. I felt it is totally appropriate for this festive season, though not with new illustrations but with a collage of past works, to end 2006. Each illustration means a lot to me, as each speaks of a story, or a particular phase I was going through at that moment when I drew them. The above series are more personal moments, about my dieting, my holidays abroad, my dream, my mom's birthday, my addiction, my memory of my dad, my wanting for a break, and a much needed rest, but not all personal illustrations are in here due to limited space.

The new year 2007 will come with some changes in my life, a year that I would want to rest more, learn more and greater indulgence in what I like to do. Looking at this year 2006, many things have happened, both good and bad, and as a result, there is a change of the way I look at certain things, of how I want to prioritise what matter to me in life, of how I would want to use my time, and also the type of architect I want to be, the type of buildings I want to play a part to design, and the type of focus and design methodology I would take on in future.

I am glad that I am allowed to start all over again, from basic, starting from designing the smallest dwelling, to institution, the latter being a building type that will always mean a lot to me. I thank Papa God that the thoughts in my mind has become clearer since the trip I made to NY. And I thank Him for this wonderful season, creating opportunities to catch up with loved ones. Hope you too will have a wonderful festive December season, and a wonderful time of shopping! Have a great week ahead!